Episode 1

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Published on:

10th Jun 2023

Breaking Bad S1E1 - In Media Pants

It's time for Last Time On, the podcast for everyone who wants to watch all of that prestige television, but who has time for that? Our hosts don't, so they take the randomized highway down your favorite shows they haven't seen, and try to guess what happened Last Time On!

Join us as Ben and Xhafer start their trip with Walt and Jesse through Breaking Bad, along with explaining how this whole thing will work.

Transcript
Xhafer:

Welcome the last time on the watch cast for everyone who wants

Xhafer:

to watch all of this Prestige tv.

Xhafer:

But who is time for that?

Ben:

I don't have time for that.

Xhafer:

I'm Jafa.

Ben:

I'm Ben

Xhafer:

and we're gonna be starting off this new podcast.

Xhafer:

We're gonna be talking about Breaking

Xhafer:

Bad,

Xhafer:

uh, but I want to introduce the general conceit of the podcast

Ben:

first.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

Why are we all here?

Xhafer:

So it's exactly what we said.

Xhafer:

There's so much prestige TV

Ben:

There's so much great tv.

Xhafer:

It's, there's too much great

Ben:

because who's got the goddamn time?

Xhafer:

don't got the goddamn time.

Xhafer:

So what we're gonna do is we're gonna take one of these shows that neither of us have

Xhafer:

seen.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

That is.

Ben:

is

Ben:

Universally

Xhafer:

acclaimed.

Ben:

Oh look, let's not always,

Xhafer:

they won't all be universally

Ben:

No.

Xhafer:

uh, but a very popular show that, you know, someone who's told

Xhafer:

you, you've gotta watch this show

Ben:

you haven't seen.

Xhafer:

Right.

Xhafer:

One of those, and we're gonna be going through it

Ben:

it

Xhafer:

as

Xhafer:

quickly as possible

Ben:

Because we're not actually just going to watch these, these shows.

Ben:

No, because as we meant, we said who's got the time?

Xhafer:

I don't got the time to binge Breaking Bad.

Xhafer:

No, but I do have time for like six episodes.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

So that's what we're gonna do

Ben:

now, Jafe, are we going to just look up a list of the six

Ben:

best episodes of Breaking Bad and read about what happens in between?

Xhafer:

That sounds way less fun than what I had in mind, Ben.

Ben:

and way more work.

Ben:

Sounds like reading.

Xhafer:

Ugh.

Xhafer:

No reading.

Xhafer:

No reading

Xhafer:

for this podcast.

Xhafer:

That's,

Ben:

it's actually a problem because if we try to read anything,

Ben:

suddenly everything gets spoiled

Xhafer:

and we don't wanna spoil it for us, but we do wanna watch

Xhafer:

the show as quickly

Ben:

as possible.

Xhafer:

So what

Xhafer:

we've done is

Xhafer:

we've got a little bit of a mathematical

Xhafer:

formula.

Xhafer:

Uh, if anyone

Xhafer:

wants the actual nitty gritty on how we determine that these

Xhafer:

numbers shoot us an email.

Xhafer:

I'm

Ben:

Jafa made a spreadsheet.

Xhafer:

I always make a spreadsheet

Ben:

and,

Xhafer:

uh, the goal is to skip 75%

Xhafer:

of each season.

Xhafer:

right?

Xhafer:

And so we set the numbers and we came up with a dice roll

Xhafer:

that we're gonna be using,

Xhafer:

and

Xhafer:

we're gonna watch an episode, make some predictions about where the show is going.

Xhafer:

Roll the dice

Xhafer:

and the dice will determine the next episode we watch.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Uh, for breaking bad with an average seasonal length of 10 episodes.

Xhafer:

Uh, because Breaking Bad, like a lot of shows in the late two thousands

Xhafer:

to 2010s, the last season has a 5.5.

Xhafer:

That's bullshit.

Xhafer:

It's season six.

Xhafer:

You did two eight episode seasons.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Which is fine.

Xhafer:

We're not here to shame a show for that.

Xhafer:

Looking

Ben:

at you, Battlestar Galactica.

Xhafer:

But we are going to count those 0.5, I guess we're gonna round

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

And so we

Xhafer:

have six seasons, 62 episodes, 10 episodes on for the average

Xhafer:

season,

Xhafer:

which means

Xhafer:

we're going to try and skip 75%.

Xhafer:

We looked for a dice roll

Xhafer:

combination that matches that

Xhafer:

seven and a half episodes, which happens to be 3D four.

Xhafer:

So that's what we'll be rolling for this

Xhafer:

show.

Ben:

Yep.

Ben:

So that means we're watching the pilot.

Ben:

We're rolling three D four.

Ben:

If you don't know your dice, those are the little pyramid shaped ones.

Xhafer:

Cow traps.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Ben:

And uh, then we immediately jump to that episode.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

No watching the in-between episodes.

Xhafer:

No reading about what happens in the in-between episodes.

Xhafer:

Just onto the next one.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

All

Xhafer:

right.

Xhafer:

Well, Ben, I feel like we've

Xhafer:

explained what we'll be doing.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

How about we watch, uh, some Breaking Bad.

Ben:

All right.

Ben:

So Jare, what's your history with Breaking Bad?

Xhafer:

Um, I

Ben:

thought I

Xhafer:

I had never seen this show.

Ben:

Oh, okay.

Xhafer:

And then I watched it and while watching it for

Xhafer:

this podcast, I realized I actually turned

Xhafer:

the pilot off about 10 minutes

Xhafer:

in.

Ben:

Oh, okay.

Xhafer:

Uh, I will call out the moment.

Xhafer:

That makes me turn it off when we get there.

Xhafer:

Um,

Xhafer:

Yeah, I just, I was completely uninterested.

Xhafer:

I probably picked it up.

Xhafer:

I, I don't remember when this was, um, our mutual friend and, uh, former

Xhafer:

podcasting partner on an old podcast we had called Draft the Universe.

Xhafer:

Chris,

Xhafer:

uh, was really into this show, and so, uh, I think he told me to watch it at

Xhafer:

some point, probably someone got me,

Ben:

mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

haven't seen

Xhafer:

this.

Xhafer:

So

Xhafer:

I turned it on and

Xhafer:

after 10, 11

Ben:

minutes, I turned it off.

Ben:

Oh.

Ben:

I fully expected the answer to B none.

Ben:

That's the whole point of the show, but,

Xhafer:

alright,

Ben:

There we go.

Xhafer:

I had two, uh, but I like vividly

Xhafer:

remembered turning the TV off

Xhafer:

at a certain scene.

Ben:

Fair enough.

Ben:

I know this is one of those shows that I always meant to get around to watching.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

And so now I'm glad.

Ben:

To do that at a very rapid pace.

Xhafer:

Speaking of which, you want to get into this episode, Ben?

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

We've got Breaking Bad Season one episode one pilot.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

And we open on some fucking desert.

Ben:

We opened in, uh, media pants.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Uh, Ben, have you ever been in the desert?

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Is it an interesting story or was it you were in the desert?

Ben:

I was, it, it's just hot and dry.

Xhafer:

I

Ben:

I don't know.

Xhafer:

I almost got got by a scorpion in the desert

Ben:

once.

Ben:

Oh, damn.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I was out hiking

Xhafer:

in

Xhafer:

some Californian desert.

Xhafer:

Uh, probably like two hours in between Vegas and la.

Ben:

Okay.

Xhafer:

And I was hiking with our buddy Aim Corto.

Ben:

All right.

Ben:

Hey,

Xhafer:

Hey, Levi, if you happen to be listening to this,

Xhafer:

and,

Xhafer:

uh, a Scorpion kind of crawled out from under a rock and

Xhafer:

tried to get me through my

Xhafer:

boot.

Xhafer:

Woo.

Ben:

Whoop,

Xhafer:

Uh, it did not make it through my boot.

Xhafer:

Good.

Xhafer:

Uh, and then Levi stepped on it immediately.

Ben:

Uh,

Xhafer:

but yeah, that's, that's my desert

Xhafer:

story.

Ben:

Well, uh, I know one time my uncle, I believe in Mexico,

Xhafer:

Could

Ben:

been many places.

Ben:

He moved around a lot for subterfuge reasons.

Ben:

Um,

Xhafer:

that aligns with the scene that we see here.

Ben:

uh, he woke up once with a, uh, a scorpion.

Ben:

Pinched onto his nose.

Ben:

Oh

Xhafer:

no.

Ben:

Um, and it had to be like, don't freak out, or it will sting your face.

Ben:

Just wait for it to let go.

Xhafer:

Ugh.

Ben:

But yeah, so we have a rv just ripping ass through the desert.

Xhafer:

This is the worst road trip ever.

Xhafer:

There are

Xhafer:

gas masks, dead people, uh,

Xhafer:

tidy, Walter

Xhafer:

Whitey's,

Ben:

Awesome.

Xhafer:

wet cash and a video camera.

Xhafer:

Yes,

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

I, I was

Xhafer:

find out what was gonna hap ha be happening

Ben:

I was very excited to see that early Oz, uh, digital video

Ben:

camera, because that's one of those things, it's kind of like a pager.

Ben:

It really sets it in time because like 10 years later, everything

Ben:

would just be on a phone.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

But here is the, you can have a tiny digital camcorder, uh, just ready to go.

Ben:

We

Xhafer:

a little video confessional before Brian Cranston goes to the road.

Xhafer:

Gun pointed, presumably, uh, the cop, we, we hear sirens, we assume they're police,

Xhafer:

uh, that they're coming from, and then we go to theme, and I gotta say this theme.

Xhafer:

Short and sweet.

Ben:

I did like that.

Xhafer:

Thank you.

Xhafer:

Lost.

Xhafer:

Fuck you.

Xhafer:

Game of Thrones.

Xhafer:

Hey,

Ben:

Hey, no.

Ben:

Game of Thrones.

Ben:

Theme is awesome.

Xhafer:

Game of Thrones theme was awesome, but because of Game of Thrones, every TV

Xhafer:

show, every Prestige TV show

Xhafer:

has to have a five minute fully animated

Xhafer:

title sequence these days.

Xhafer:

And

Xhafer:

I ain't got time

Xhafer:

for that.

Ben:

Yeah, I dunno.

Ben:

Watching this, uh, watching the opening of Breaking Bad made me think

Ben:

of a twist on a, a line from, uh, Eva Green's character in, uh, casino Royale.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

Uh, So, uh, there's media res and media rez.

Ben:

This is the ladder.

Ben:

Like we are not like, oh, how?

Ben:

That's me.

Ben:

I bet you're wondering how I got here.

Ben:

It's, uh, dead guys in the back of an rv, chemicals solution everywhere.

Ben:

Uh, just like, well, something's clearly gone very wrong,

Xhafer:

but we don't find out what, because after theme, we

Xhafer:

skip back in time, three weeks.

Xhafer:

And we see Hal in bed.

Xhafer:

And

Xhafer:

it looks like they just had a baby shower or something.

Xhafer:

We see lots of like diapers and stuff.

Xhafer:

We, we learn a little bit more about that

Xhafer:

later.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Ben:

And then we get to the 5:00 AM sad dad stepping.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Ben:

During

Xhafer:

sad

Xhafer:

step, we see some of, like Walt's life up on the wall.

Xhafer:

We see a, uh, medal for contributing to the chemistry.

Xhafer:

Nobel Prize in

Xhafer:

1985

Xhafer:

actually

Xhafer:

Googled this.

Xhafer:

It's from measuring crystalline structures.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

I wonder

Xhafer:

if that's prescient.

. Ben:

From the sad dad stepping to the sad cholesterol breakfast.

. Ben:

Yes.

. Ben:

Uh, veggie bacon.

Xhafer:

We meet Walt Jr.

Xhafer:

Who's a real teenager's, teenager.

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

is the stereotype of the late two thousands teenager.

Xhafer:

A hundred percent,

Ben:

yes.

Ben:

With one very notable exception.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

He, he is a child with, uh, disabilities, but he does not seem to be hindered

Ben:

by it, and he's given just the right amount of sass back to, uh, the parrots.

Xhafer:

Uh, we go to high school.

Xhafer:

And, uh, we see Walt as teaching

Ben:

Wait.

Ben:

First we have to address the Aztec.

Ben:

He's driving an Aztec.

Ben:

Another thing that really puts this into a, a place in time.

Xhafer:

It's true.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

It is a miserable little box car.

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Uh, but yeah, we,

Xhafer:

we go to high school and Walt is teaching chemistry there and

Xhafer:

he's trying

Xhafer:

really

Xhafer:

hard to be the cool chemistry

Ben:

teacher.

Ben:

And

Xhafer:

hate

Xhafer:

to have to be

Xhafer:

the one to

Xhafer:

tell him this, but that is, that is not what is

Xhafer:

happening here.

Ben:

This.

Ben:

Is the worst, like this is some really bad

Xhafer:

teacher dialogue.

Xhafer:

It is.

Ben:

wife is a teacher and the, if you ever open a class in what is thing?

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

That is,

Xhafer:

that is

Ben:

bad.

Ben:

Um,

Ben:

and the, so

Xhafer:

like, it's so awkward because they're

Ben:

talking about, you

Xhafer:

this is like the first five minutes of this class or whatever is

Xhafer:

like, welcome to chemistry 1 0 1, and then it's, oh, but we're on chapter

Xhafer:

six and in the middle of a school year.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

So it was impossible to know where, where in the year we are suppo supposed to be.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

As if

Xhafer:

being in New Mexico wasn't enough to make it, impossible to tell what month it is.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Uh, this does not help.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

Uh, so it was, it was one of those, one of those things that I've, I've

Ben:

been around somebody writing enough lesson plans that it really reeked

Ben:

to me of we need to really establish that this person's a teacher.

Ben:

Uh, instead of just being like, well, how about the fact that they're in a

Ben:

classroom in front of a bunch of students?

Ben:

Lets us know also, For as sad sack as he is, most teachers would kill.

Ben:

For this class size, there's like 12 students.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

I'm guessing they don't have the extras budget quite yet.

Xhafer:

Well,

Ben:

and also just why waste it here?

Ben:

Um, yeah.

Xhafer:

I don't know where else in the episode you would've used

Xhafer:

it, but Yeah.

Ben:

Well, and we've got a, for a class that starts with what is

Ben:

chemistry, there's like already a bunch of stuff on the board.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

Uh, and so I was really.

Ben:

Honestly shook when he's like, all right, chapter six.

Ben:

And I'm just

Xhafer:

Bonds.

Ben:

you've gotten through five chapters already, motherfucker,

Ben:

right?

Xhafer:

Uh, after this we cut over to the car wash and Walt is working

Xhafer:

a second job as a cashier because in America we refuse to pay our

Xhafer:

teachers.

Ben:

And yes,

Xhafer:

sure that won't have any long-term consequences in

Xhafer:

our society and its ability to

Xhafer:

critically Think

Ben:

Think Nope.

Ben:

Uh, and then we have, uh, shitty James Franco, who was in, uh, in the class

Ben:

earlier and now he's, uh, having his, his teacher who shamed him clean his car.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Uh, Walt comes

Xhafer:

home to

Xhafer:

a surprise birthday party,

Ben:

is the worst thing that has happened to him today.

Xhafer:

And everyone hates each other here.

Xhafer:

And they play with guns.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

This is the worst.

Ben:

This is like, there are bad surprise parties.

Ben:

And then there is this where it seems like his brother-in-law

Ben:

just brought all of his friends.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

And then they could also, it's like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben:

Your birthday party, but we're all getting together to watch my drug bust.

Xhafer:

This was the moment I remember turning the show

Xhafer:

off.

Xhafer:

Oh, okay.

Xhafer:

We're

Xhafer:

11 minutes in.

Xhafer:

His brother-in-law toast

Xhafer:

him.

Ben:

Grabs Walt's

Xhafer:

beer for the

Xhafer:

toast.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Drinks Walt's beer for the toast, and then

Xhafer:

keeps it.

Ben:

it.

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Uh,

Xhafer:

and then it's like, oh,

Xhafer:

everyone needs to turn on

Xhafer:

the local

Xhafer:

news to

Xhafer:

see my drug bust.

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Walt sees all the money and the initial seed of this whole

Xhafer:

plot is planted in this moment.

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

And he gets an awkward birthday hand jobb to end the

Ben:

yeah.

Ben:

So the first thing I noticed was we do have the too many pillows on the bed.

Ben:

Walt has to move three pillows before he can lay down and

Ben:

then we get a sad eBay handy.

Ben:

That's rough.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

At

Xhafer:

the car wash.

Xhafer:

Walt's cough gets worse

Xhafer:

and he passes out in the ambulance.

Xhafer:

He's like, drop me off

Xhafer:

anywhere

Xhafer:

because I have teacher insurance.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

Uh, why does Walt not get the, the, uh, car wash uniform?

Ben:

Everyone else has like the, the windbreakers and the shirts

Ben:

and he's just in his sweater.

Xhafer:

I don't think he wants it.

Ben:

Fair enough.

Ben:

But al also, like

Xhafer:

like

Ben:

you're doing dirty work, man.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

But oh God, that, uh, that insurance talk in the ambulance

Ben:

freaked me the heck out.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Uh, Maybe one day this will be comedy, uh, but for right now,

Ben:

tragedy.

Xhafer:

Uh, anyways, he gets to the doctor who's got a giant old

Xhafer:

mustard stain that Walt focuses on

Ben:

first he goes into the mri.

Ben:

And I've got a question for you.

Ben:

Have you ever had an mri?

Xhafer:

I've had a CAT scan.

Xhafer:

Okay.

Xhafer:

Uh, so MRI is like the full tube Yes.

Xhafer:

Where your body's enclosed.

Xhafer:

Uh, CAT scan is a lot more localized and it's in a big open room Yes.

Xhafer:

Where the machine is kind of exposed.

Xhafer:

Um,

Ben:

so

Xhafer:

kind of like it's, uh, the, the procedure from the

Xhafer:

patient side is very similar.

Ben:

Lace still don't move.

Xhafer:

uh, but without the claustrophobia.

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Um, yeah, I had a CAT scan to scan my brain when I was 15 or 16

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

cuz there was a hereditary condition that we

Xhafer:

were possibly cons concern.

Xhafer:

My cousin had just gotten diagnosed and I was having really bad

Xhafer:

migraines, and so they're like, oh, well that's a sign of this thing.

Xhafer:

And if

Ben:

IMO syndrome.

Xhafer:

That's,

Ben:

That's a Star Trek.

Ben:

The next generation reference.

Ben:

I've also had a, a, uh, CAT scan.

Ben:

And so one thing, uh, just made me really just

Xhafer:

Because

Ben:

soon as you tell me I can't move, like my fingers start twitching

Ben:

and, uh, it is very, very hard.

Xhafer:

hard.

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Uh, I remember laying on the table and like I had an intense phobia of

Xhafer:

needles from as far back as I can remember

Xhafer:

until.

Ben:

uh,

Xhafer:

we'll say it would've been January of 2021

Xhafer:

at an

Xhafer:

intense sphere of

Xhafer:

needles.

Xhafer:

Um, and so when I saw the syringes of like the iodine that I was going to get pumped

Xhafer:

into me to get my CAT scan, they were

Ben:

like, I mean,

Xhafer:

not the size of my

Xhafer:

current

Xhafer:

forearm, but

Ben:

but

Xhafer:

given I was younger at scrawnier arms, it feels like they

Xhafer:

were like the sides of my forearm.

Xhafer:

And there were two of them.

Xhafer:

And I'm just like, oh, I don't want to see the needle on those.

Xhafer:

I

Xhafer:

remember freaking

Xhafer:

out and it was a butterfly needle and you didn't feel anything.

Ben:

Yep.

Ben:

Um,

Xhafer:

that's really my only remembrance, anecdotally

Ben:

Gotcha.

Xhafer:

Of my CAT scan, but yes, uh, Walt finds out he has inoperable lung

Ben:

cancer.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Bad day.

Ben:

So I appreciate the need for expedience in this.

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

There is no way you collapse at your after work job.

Ben:

Take an ambulance ride to a hospital, get an MRI and an

Ben:

immediate onco, onco oncologist, uh,

Xhafer:

appointment

Ben:

appointment where they can definitively tell you what the case is.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

And get home before your wife notices.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

Um.

Xhafer:

I mean, maybe it just works different in New Mexico.

Ben:

I don't know.

Xhafer:

Uh,

Ben:

But that was, uh, that was something that really just stuck out to me.

Ben:

Like, he gets home immediately.

Ben:

There's Bill talk with his wife Skylar, and it's just like, you're not

Ben:

bringing up that he collapsed at work.

Ben:

Oh, he's pretending this didn't happen, and he's not trying to

Ben:

mm-hmm.

Ben:

You know, upset his wife, but it's also like, how did you not know?

Ben:

Um, And then uh, we get to, uh, bill talk and Hey, that's

Ben:

the credit card we don't use.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

And I don't know if this is just me.

Ben:

That conversation is worse than you've got inoperable lung cancer.

Ben:

You'll be dead in six months.

Xhafer:

It's a rough con because like,

Ben:

you know,

Xhafer:

you know, he's getting, it feels like his wife has

Xhafer:

beat him up over spending $11.

Xhafer:

Um, I'm guessing that this is a credit card that is close

Xhafer:

to maxed out or something,

Ben:

or it's, we weren't planning on paying anything.

Ben:

I didn't look at any of the balances.

Ben:

Now they're saying we've got late fees because Yeah, I didn't pay the

Ben:

thing we're not supposed to use.

Xhafer:

That would make sense too, but their financial situation.

Xhafer:

Seems to be pretty tight.

Ben:

It seems to be more shell game than uh, yeah.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

And so it might be that that $11 was enough to

Xhafer:

like,

Xhafer:

set off a thing

Ben:

that

Xhafer:

they were trying to transfer a balance or something and they couldn't

Xhafer:

anymore

Xhafer:

because it was tight.

Ben:

Um,

Xhafer:

yeah, it's,

Xhafer:

it's

Xhafer:

very difficult like,

Xhafer:

Yeah, I went to Staples and bought printer paper.

Xhafer:

I didn't realize that

Xhafer:

was going to break

Xhafer:

the bank.

Xhafer:

Also, you want

Xhafer:

a purse on

Xhafer:

eBay

Xhafer:

for 50 bucks last night?

Xhafer:

Maybe.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Maybe talk about that too.

Xhafer:

Uh, but I assume that's part of her business and

Xhafer:

she's going to resell it.

Ben:

but it is also, man, like just, oh, the check must be lost in the mail.

Ben:

I'll totally get it to you.

Xhafer:

you.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Not.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

It's,

Xhafer:

that's rough.

Ben:

And I, I've been enough customer service jobs where I know that person hung

Ben:

up and was just like, yeah, sure lady.

Ben:

The check's in the mail.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

Um,

Ben:

so then Walt quits the car wash job in, Flamboyant fashion.

Ben:

Yeah, Uh, makes a mess of things on his way out, which after coming immediately on

Ben:

the heels of the, we don't have any money.

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

Uh,

Ben:

like I understand his boss is an asshole, but he's not like

Ben:

he's an asshole on the small business owner asshole scale, and.

Ben:

For as tight as things seem to be for this family, I, I'm just like

Ben:

this, this is ratcheting my anxiety up to like an eight and a half.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

Then we cut to matchsticks in the pool.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

He calls his brother-in-law

Xhafer:

and, uh,

Xhafer:

at the surprise party he had offered to take him on a DEA ride along

Ben:

mm-hmm.

Ben:

Uh,

Ben:

to

Xhafer:

let him feel alive.

Ben:

And he, uh,

Xhafer:

he decides to take him up on that.

Ben:

But while we're still at the pool, this just made me

Ben:

feel like this is New Mexico.

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

This just feels so goddamn desolate.

Ben:

Like,

Xhafer:

yes.

Ben:

it, it feels empty and there's nothing there.

Ben:

And he is like, there is nothing alive in his backyard.

Ben:

And he's throwing matches into a clearly neglected pool.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I'm guessing it's rainwater filled at this point, which in New Mexico can't

Ben:

much.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

It's, uh, it's very shallow.

Xhafer:

It's not, it clearly hasn't been filled or

Ben:

maintained.

Ben:

Yes,

Xhafer:

Uh, Walt goes with the DEA on his drug bust and uh, we get some

Xhafer:

casual dea racism, a cab as they discuss Captain Cook's operation.

Xhafer:

I wonder if he's got a boat named to the minnow.

Ben:

Uh, so one thing I noticed, did you notice what they wait for?

Ben:

Uh, before they move in on the house,

Xhafer:

They

Ben:

they have to wait for something to get out

Xhafer:

Oh, the school bus?

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

Why is Walt not at work?

Ben:

We watch a school bus Go by.

Ben:

What?

Ben:

What's going on?

Ben:

Why is he not teaching chemistry?

Xhafer:

He could have taken the day.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

He might have been burning through, uh, burning through a day off.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

uh, I mean he, maybe it was after like.

Ben:

like.

Xhafer:

He's a high school teacher.

Xhafer:

Right?

Xhafer:

High school.

Xhafer:

Lets out.

Xhafer:

Before the elementary school, maybe it was an elementary school

Ben:

but, oh, so maybe it's afternoon.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

So like, you know, he's done at like 2 33

Xhafer:

and it's

Xhafer:

like four 30 somewhere.

Xhafer:

And the,

Ben:

Hey, can you save your, uh, can you save your drug bust until I'm after work?

Ben:

Right.

Ben:

Uh, so one thing while they're here, uh, they talk about how, uh, if you

Ben:

make meth wrong, you make frosting gas.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

How many people.

Ben:

Do you think accidentally kill themselves making meth?

Xhafer:

Well,

Xhafer:

I thought about doing some research

Ben:

here,

Ben:

but that's gonna be very, very hard.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Like it was one thing to Google the 1985 Nobel Prize.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

That's pretty safe as far as not accidentally ruining the show, uh,

Xhafer:

but without enough chemistry knowledge to know if this is a real gas.

Ben:

It

Xhafer:

assu, I assume

Ben:

it is a, like they used it in World War I.

Ben:

Bad gas.

Xhafer:

Well, yeah.

Xhafer:

But in relation to cooking

Ben:

Oh yeah.

Ben:

I am sure there's going to be a bunch of stuff that they do wrong on purpose,

Ben:

so that you can't, like they're trying to avoid a heat scenario of, hey, if you

Ben:

want to rob a bank, here's how you do it.

Xhafer:

it.

Xhafer:

Exactly.

Xhafer:

And so I don't want to like, try and google details and only get

Xhafer:

breaking bad results and ruin

Ben:

for me.

Ben:

Fair enough.

Xhafer:

But I was very tempted,

Ben:

So, uh, the raid kicks off and your fair?

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

Have I ever told you, uh, about, uh, when there was a meth raid in my

Ben:

hometown when I was in high school?

Xhafer:

I don't believe you have been.

Ben:

Well, that's a pr uh, that's pretty rare.

Ben:

Um,

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

A story not shared between us,

Xhafer:

given

Xhafer:

our

Xhafer:

God,

Ben:

15.

Xhafer:

15, 16.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

It's gotta be

Xhafer:

your friendship.

Ben:

So, uh, it's not a huge story, but I was definitely reminded watching the DEA

Ben:

agent stack up and go into this house.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

Uh, a friend of my brothers came into school late, uh, uh, one day, and we were

Ben:

all asking him, Hey, why are you late?

Ben:

What was going on?

Ben:

He's like, couldn't leave my house.

Ben:

Woke up to a SWAT sniper climbing up out a ladder outside of my window.

Ben:

Where he was now set up on top of my roof covering a raid of

Ben:

a meth lab across the street.

Ben:

And, uh, we couldn't leave our house.

Xhafer:

Yikes.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

And so it just, it definitely made me feel like, feel like that

Xhafer:

I'm gonna be in the basement behind some

Xhafer:

concrete.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

Yikes.

Xhafer:

Um, so yeah, they do this drug bust

Xhafer:

and Walt sees one of his students

Xhafer:

come out of the second story window of the neighbor's house.

Ben:

And he falls off the roof.

Ben:

A thing that would have ended the story right there for me.

Ben:

Just like,

Ben:

Hey,

Ben:

where's the other drug dealer over here with like his ankles

Ben:

blown out and like a dislocated shoulder because this is New Mexico.

Ben:

Like there was no cushy lawn to fall into.

Ben:

He's just falling into dirt and rocks.

Ben:

Yeah,

Xhafer:

it's very true.

Ben:

true.

Ben:

Uh,

Xhafer:

So Walt recognizes

Xhafer:

him.

Xhafer:

He goes

Xhafer:

to confront him that night.

Xhafer:

We get in, we find out his name's Jesse

Xhafer:

Pinkman.

Xhafer:

Uh,

Xhafer:

and he, Walt reveals he didn't tell

Xhafer:

the cops,

Xhafer:

and he pitches becoming Captain Cook's new business

Xhafer:

partner.

Xhafer:

Or he can turn 'em in.

Ben:

Yep.

Ben:

We go zero to meth real quick.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

Um, also, I feel like need to point this out.

Ben:

Because Justice for Gomez, captain Cook was white.

Ben:

They, that is their, their argument they make And Gomez is right.

Ben:

Calling yourself Captain Cook is total white boy bullshit.

Xhafer:

Uh, back at home, Skylar and Marie are packing stuff

Xhafer:

up for her eBay gig

Xhafer:

and they talk about Walt's quieting down and they assume

Xhafer:

it's his milestone birthday.

Ben:

Uh, and this is where I decided that, uh, Skylar's sister, was it Marie?

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

Marie and Hank deserve each other.

Ben:

They are terrible people.

Xhafer:

I've known couples like

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

Where it's like each of you is the worst person I would know

Ben:

if I didn't know the other one.

Ben:

Um, and now it's some kind of recursive thing, right?

Ben:

Just feed

Xhafer:

into each other.

Ben:

Here is where we find out something interesting.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

So.

Ben:

Walt is celebrating his 50th birthday.

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

And Skylar says, you know, it'll be sort of like that when I hit 40.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

Which makes me realize, okay, Walt is more than 10 years older than Skylar.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

a minimum 11 year age difference

Ben:

between

Ben:

and they have like a 16 year old.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

Which means when, Walt Jr

Ben:

is bored,

Xhafer:

about this.

Ben:

he's like 34 and she's 23.

Xhafer:

Did you look those up or are you

Ben:

No, I am saying minimum if he's 50 and she's 39 minus 16.

Ben:

Okay.

Ben:

Um,

Xhafer:

oh yeah.

Xhafer:

Okay.

Xhafer:

So that's

Xhafer:

the,

Ben:

that

Xhafer:

the

Xhafer:

oldest

Xhafer:

scenario.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Likely younger.

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Duh.

Ben:

Which I, I have a feeling like I, I don't think this is to be

Ben:

like, I don't think they're trying to marry in Ravenwood Andie us here.

Ben:

I think it's more okay.

Ben:

How, how old could we have a, a wife with a baby on the way, uh,

Ben:

without it being like a miracle baby.

Ben:

I'm 50 and pregnant.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Um,

Ben:

so I don't think it's them trying to be creepy, but it's also.

Ben:

Where is a 34 year old, Walter White trolling for chicks?

Xhafer:

I hope not work.

Ben:

Yeah, yeah.

Ben:

Well

Xhafer:

we'll find out more about that.

Xhafer:

Maybe we won't.

Xhafer:

Maybe it's in the show and we'll just miss it.

Ben:

Possibly.

Ben:

Uh, cuz if, if it's in episode three or something, we are not seeing it.

Ben:

Yep.

Ben:

Uh, then we get the scariest scene in the entire show.

Xhafer:

Walt steals the school supplies.

Xhafer:

No.

Ben:

Him walking out of the credit union with all of his

Ben:

money and handing it to a drug

Ben:

dealer.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

So, uh, they've come up with the id, uh,

Xhafer:

they've come up with the idea to buy an rv, to have a mobile meth

Xhafer:

lab,

Xhafer:

because that's gonna go just

Xhafer:

perfect.

Ben:

I mean, it's better than it being in one place.

Ben:

They're not wrong.

Xhafer:

We say this, but we know what happened in the first scene.

Ben:

Yes,

Xhafer:

we know this goes poorly.

Ben:

Fair enough.

Xhafer:

Uh, we find out Jesse failed chemistry.

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

He insists that making meth

Xhafer:

is art, which

Xhafer:

is a reoccurring gag throughout this episode.

Xhafer:

And I hope the show.

Xhafer:

Yeah, everyone's all like, oh, you're an artist.

Xhafer:

And he's just like, pissed.

Xhafer:

No, I'm a chemist.

Xhafer:

This is basic fucking chemistry.

Ben:

And, and Jesse is like, I throw cayenne pepper into my, uh,

Ben:

meth

Xhafer:

chili powder, man.

Ben:

man.

Ben:

It's just like, don't you smoke?

Ben:

Like you're inhaling chili pepper?

Ben:

That just sounds awful.

Ben:

Like, okay, it's meth already.

Ben:

Like what are our, our standards of, I won't do this to my body

Ben:

anymore, but, but it's still like, I think this would be unpleasant.

Ben:

I'm not gonna try and find out, but it feels like it would be.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Uh,

Xhafer:

Jesse says the name of the show shortly after this, by the way.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Uh, and it feels

Xhafer:

more forced than when it did during first contact.

Xhafer:

I will say

Xhafer:

that that's the only other

Xhafer:

example I

Xhafer:

could think of where they say the name of the show in

Xhafer:

the

Xhafer:

show

Xhafer:

and they make such a, a

Xhafer:

point of it.

Xhafer:

It feels like,

Ben:

I mean, it is, it is a, a term.

Ben:

Um, but it

Ben:

does, I don't remember.

Ben:

It does,

Ben:

doesn't feel like a turn of phrase that Jesse Pinkman is going to drop.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I don't remember.

Xhafer:

Evangeline Lilly looking at the TV and shooting, went down the

Xhafer:

barrel and just going, we're lost.

Xhafer:

You know,

Ben:

like

Xhafer:

not a common thing.

Ben:

No.

Ben:

Uh,

Ben:

then we get our shopping scene.

Xhafer:

before that, uh, there's another line that Jesse says that's

Xhafer:

just the most quintessential late two thousands for me, where he's

Xhafer:

like, you know, what's going on?

Xhafer:

Why did you suddenly

Ben:

bad?

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Are you crazy

Ben:

or

Xhafer:

crazy

Xhafer:

Or depressed?

Xhafer:

Like depressed is so much significantly worse than crazy.

Xhafer:

Well,

Ben:

but I, I can, I can understand his residence of are you just

Ben:

trying to get yourself killed?

Ben:

Like are is, are you doing suicide by, by meth?

Ben:

Like, are you trying to see how deep into the underworld you can

Ben:

get before somebody shoots you?

Ben:

Because I don't wanna be the guy standing next to you when you do that.

Xhafer:

Fair.

Xhafer:

Uh, after this we get the aforementioned, uh, Walt Jr.

Xhafer:

Getting mocked and Walt beating the shit outta that bully.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

A, a.

Ben:

24 year old guy pretending to be 17

Xhafer:

his ankle taken out by his 50 year old chemistry teacher,

Ben:

presumably.

Ben:

But we know Brian Cranston can go toe to toe with the Power Rangers.

Ben:

This guy,

Ben:

he

Ben:

means nothing.

Xhafer:

Uh, out in the boonies we get some more casual homophobic prejudice, as Jesse

Xhafer:

tells Walt, uh, his glasses art, to which he still insists its basic chemistry.

Xhafer:

Jesse gets a small piece and goes to meet up with dog fighting.

Xhafer:

Pete Davidson,

Ben:

uh,

Xhafer:

Emilio has made bail.

Xhafer:

And they say that they think Jesse is a narc.

Xhafer:

They make him take him to Walt Emilio places Walt from the DEA

Xhafer:

bust and things take a turn from

Xhafer:

here.

Ben:

So one thing I I, I noted in order to get our iconic,

Ben:

uh, Brian Cranston, no pants,

Ben:

Uh,

Ben:

gun image.

Ben:

He shows he's taking off his clothes because these are my good clothes.

Ben:

I don't want to go home smelling like a meth lab.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

Why didn't you just wear your sweats, buddy?

Ben:

Why are you wearing your good clothes out on meth Cook day?

Ben:

Like, yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Like have your good clothes, like leave the house in your good clothes.

Xhafer:

Change into some

Xhafer:

sweats.

Ben:

You know,

Xhafer:

just, you need a, you need a pair of dedicated meth sweats.

Ben:

or e even just

Xhafer:

like,

Ben:

Even if it's, I don't want to go home with any of my

Ben:

clothes smelling like meth lab.

Ben:

Why'd you wear your good clothes?

Xhafer:

For sure.

Ben:

So Walt trying to make them be careful and, not kill

Ben:

themselves, reminded me very much of us making, copper two chloride.

Ben:

So we would make wood chips infused in copper two chloride, which if you

Ben:

throw it into a fire, burns blue.

Ben:

Yep.

Ben:

Uh, like the Midnight Society.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

It's a real cool effect.

Ben:

The problem is for a brief minute, while you're making

Ben:

it, you do make mustard gas,

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

so you have to do that bit outside.

Xhafer:

Very important to do that outside.

Ben:

Uh, the one thing that I did notice is, uh, Jesse goes to visit Crazy Eight.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

And his cousin Emilio.

Ben:

Why doesn't Emilio get a, a good uh, uh, uh, meth name?

Ben:

We've got crazy eight meeting with Captain Cook and

Xhafer:

am Emilio.

Ben:

Emilio.

Xhafer:

What's wrong with Am

Ben:

There's nothing wrong with Emilio.

Ben:

It's just that it's his name.

Ben:

It is on his driver's license.

Ben:

What

Xhafer:

What do you got against the Mighty

Ben:

Well, I'm saying if he, if he was the Mighty Duck or if he was Coach Bombay.

Ben:

I'd be like, yeah, that's your meth name.

Xhafer:

Coach Bombay is a great

Ben:

name.

Ben:

I know, right?

Ben:

What are you selling?

Ben:

It's called Quack,

Ben:

you know?

Ben:

There we go.

Ben:

Wait, is this quack?

Ben:

No, it's meth.

Ben:

It's just called quack.

Xhafer:

No,

Ben:

You can only buy five bag baggies at a time cuz

Xhafer:

Lay them out on the table in the Flying V.

Xhafer:

You just actually, you break all the crystals to be in Vs.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Ugh.

Xhafer:

I don't know if that actually would do any, I don't, I know

Xhafer:

nothing about doing meth.

Ben:

Well, apparently you can snort it, which I didn't know, um, until

Ben:

crazy eight did it in this episode.

Ben:

Maybe that's

Xhafer:

that's like tasting the cocaine.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

I, I don't know.

Xhafer:

don't know.

Xhafer:

Maybe we shouldn't have watched a show about drugs.

Xhafer:

Ben, are we boring?

Xhafer:

Are we boring?

Xhafer:

Or old people?

Xhafer:

Did that happen to us?

Ben:

I don't know.

Ben:

Uh, I mean, would you have had more to say if we watched Weeds?

Xhafer:

I guess slightly.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

I

Xhafer:

assume that show's just about eating gummies and

Xhafer:

falling asleep at eight 30

Xhafer:

anyways,

Ben:

so, uh, crazy eight and Emilio show up and Emilio goes.

Ben:

Hey, I think this guy's a DEA agent and showing the same level of acceleration

Ben:

as Walt goes, let's kill some cops.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Ben:

It's like, if you think this is a DEA agent, they've

Ben:

probably got cameras and shit.

Ben:

Um,

Ben:

what are you gonna, what Are you gonna go away more for?

Ben:

Bought drugs or shot DEA agents?

Xhafer:

You're already out on bail.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Uh, Walt offers to teach crazy eight, how to cook like

Xhafer:

him in exchange for their lives.

Ben:

They throw a cigarette out the window and I'm immediately like, don't do that.

Ben:

That's irresponsible

Xhafer:

drop here.

Xhafer:

Smokey the bear.

Xhafer:

Only you can prevent forest

Ben:

fighters.

Ben:

I, I, I, later in my notes wrote down, smokey is pissed.

Ben:

Good.

Xhafer:

That

Xhafer:

will be even funnier when you say

Xhafer:

it after the

Ben:

trial.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Um, Walt makes a

Xhafer:

noxious gas that I'm assuming kills both Emilio in crazy eight, and sure

Xhafer:

enough, that brush has caught fire.

Ben:

Yep.

Ben:

Uh, and, uh, now showing the same, uh, restraint as Emilio.

Ben:

Uh, Walter jumps straight to murder.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

He throws a gas mask on, Jesse gets him in the RV and drives

Xhafer:

off,

Xhafer:

and we are finally cut up to the pants flying and car crash

Xhafer:

from the start of our episode.

Ben:

And I took note here, I had assumed seeing dead guys, Jesse and Gas mask,

Ben:

like something had knocked people out.

Xhafer:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

I didn't realize dead guys and then Jesse got kicked and has been

Ben:

unconscious for like five minutes.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

Jesse needs to go to a hospital.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

That's, that's definite brain damage level.

Xhafer:

Concussion.

Xhafer:

Um,

Ben:

I thought you were

Xhafer:

was dead in the first scene.

Ben:

Dropped the archer.

Ben:

Uh, how long have I been unconscious?

Ben:

Like five minutes.

Ben:

Oh, God, no.

Ben:

Uh,

Ben:

yeah.

Ben:

So now we finally get back to where we started.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

Walt standing there, no pants, gun pointed down the lane.

Ben:

Uh, ready to, I guess go out in a blaze of glory.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

He, he does try to kill himself

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Here very quickly.

Xhafer:

Uh, but he, uh, didn't take the safety off of the gun so

Xhafer:

it doesn't fire.

Xhafer:

And then when he moves it and checks the safety, it instantly

Xhafer:

fires when he turns it off.

Ben:

it off.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Which is, Not how that works,

Ben:

No

Xhafer:

dramatic

Ben:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Um, I guess theoretically you could wreck a gun to work like that,

Ben:

Oh, I'm, I,

Ben:

I

Xhafer:

so stupid.

Ben:

Well, meth dealers

Xhafer:

Fair enough.

Ben:

and

Ben:

who are those sirens, Jafa

Xhafer:

fire trucks?

Ben:

That fire started like four minutes ago

Xhafer:

in the middle of the desert and three firetrucks come flying.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

And maybe

Ben:

they've

Xhafer:

reported that fire?

Ben:

don't know.

Ben:

But I think

Xhafer:

that's a plot point, or do you think it's just glossed over completely?

Ben:

I, I'm guessing it's gonna be glossed over completely, but the,

Ben:

the, the life story I want to know.

Ben:

Easy.

Ben:

Did, did you notice what was on the back of that last firetruck?

Ben:

A dude.

Ben:

Yeah, some dude who's been riding on the back of this firetruck for 20 miles.

Ben:

And what do I see?

Ben:

Pless dude, next to a crashed rv.

Ben:

And I'm just

Xhafer:

like,

Ben:

well, that's not the weirdest thing I've seen today.

Ben:

I'm New Mexico wildly uh, wildlife, fire rescue.

Xhafer:

Uh, Jesse regains consciousness and Walt catches them up.

Xhafer:

They go to clean up the mess and we see Walt literally laundering money.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

This makes me laugh because you do stuff like putting money into

Ben:

a, a, uh, tumble dryer when it's like, I've got a stack of new bills.

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

These were rolls of drug money.

Xhafer:

Well, they, they got wet.

Ben:

Well,

Ben:

yes,

Ben:

but

Xhafer:

chemicals and

Ben:

stuff, so

Ben:

it'll dry.

Ben:

It was in a plastic bag.

Xhafer:

I,

Xhafer:

we did see money floating

Ben:

around.

Ben:

Oh,

Ben:

okay.

Ben:

Maybe the bag popped open.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

But it, it did make me think that Walt just got home and like, okay,

Ben:

I've got a bag full of drug money.

Ben:

What do you do with drug money?

Ben:

You launder it and just threw it in the dryer.

Ben:

Um,

Ben:

not,

Xhafer:

lots of tens and twentys, which was weird.

Ben:

Well, uh, I'm guessing you pay.

Ben:

For one thing of meth with like a 10.

Ben:

I don't know how much a meth costs,

Xhafer:

I don't know how much a meth costs either.

Xhafer:

Uh,

Ben:

I know people we could reach out to,

Xhafer:

but it's, it's, that's usually when you have roles.

Xhafer:

They're consistent bills though.

Ben:

Well, maybe the tens and twenties were in their own

Ben:

roles and they all got mixed up.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

Anyways,

Xhafer:

uh,

Xhafer:

Skylar Admonishes Walt for being called in silent and he

Xhafer:

responds with passion to credits.

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

We end in the bone zone.

Xhafer:

and that's our

Xhafer:

episode.

Xhafer:

So what we're gonna do now is we're gonna grab our dice,

Xhafer:

we're gonna roll 'em, see how far ahead

Xhafer:

we're going,

Xhafer:

knowing how far ahead we're going.

Xhafer:

Ben and I are going to make a handful of predictions, and then

Xhafer:

we're going to go ahead and read the synopsis of the next episode.

Xhafer:

We're gonna watch.

Ben:

So if something happens in between, we don't know.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

We rolled a

Xhafer:

seven,

Ben:

which means

Xhafer:

next

Xhafer:

episode is going to be season

Xhafer:

one, episode

Ben:

eight.

Ben:

All right, so we are jumping a lot.

Ben:

Okay.

Ben:

This is gonna be fun.

Xhafer:

This is statistically an average roll for 3D four.

Ben:

Yep.

Ben:

So

Xhafer:

seven

Xhafer:

and a half is

Xhafer:

the

Xhafer:

median.

Xhafer:

So.

Ben:

right

Xhafer:

Right there.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

We're gonna

Xhafer:

make three

Xhafer:

predictions, a daytime, a

Ben:

a evening,

Xhafer:

a primetime

Ben:

prediction.

Ben:

Yep.

Ben:

So, daytime predictions, easy predictions, you know?

Ben:

Mm-hmm.

Ben:

Something, uh, like you'd see on daytime tv, an evening prediction,

Ben:

Hey, we're getting a little bit more, uh, uh, you know, complex.

Ben:

Maybe you're reaching a little bit more.

Ben:

And then prime time is, this is a once in a, uh, a show.

Ben:

You know, giant twist.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

And we're gonna keep track

Xhafer:

of these and then

Xhafer:

we're gonna tally up,

Xhafer:

uh, daytime's

Xhafer:

worth one

Xhafer:

evening's

Xhafer:

worth.

Xhafer:

Two prime times are worth

Xhafer:

three.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

At

Xhafer:

the end of a series, we'll go through, see how many points are

Xhafer:

tallied

Xhafer:

and declare a winner.

Xhafer:

And then the winner

Xhafer:

will get to do a

Ben:

thing.

Ben:

Yep.

Xhafer:

It's gonna change every time, so we're not even gonna

Xhafer:

bother saying what it is now.

Xhafer:

It'll just be fun when it happens.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

Daytime prediction first.

Xhafer:

I

Xhafer:

think Jesse's gonna get shot.

Xhafer:

Like, I don't necessarily mean dead, but like he's going to sustain a gun

Xhafer:

injury.

Ben:

Well, with how bad they are with guns in this, this first

Ben:

episode, wouldn't be surprised.

Ben:

Wouldn't be surprised if it was an accident.

Ben:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

If he accidentally sh

Ben:

If he

Xhafer:

accidentally shoots

Ben:

Yes.

Ben:

If he accidentally shoots himself.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

What's your daytime prediction,

Ben:

then?

Ben:

Uh, my daytime pre prediction.

Ben:

Uh, Skylar never actually writes anything.

Ben:

So it is either something that comes up a few times as, oh, are

Ben:

you still working on that novel?

Ben:

Or it is dropped completely?

Ben:

Either way.

Ben:

Skylar never publishes anything.

Xhafer:

All right,

Ben:

uh, now we'll go on to our evening prediction.

Ben:

Uh, I am going to go with Bogden, gets run over by a car in the carwash.

Ben:

It is a feelgood moment.

Xhafer:

I have the opposite of a feel good moment.

Xhafer:

Uh, I think Walter's gonna cheat on his

Xhafer:

wife.

Ben:

Mm.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

And then our prime time.

Xhafer:

These

Ben:

are the

Xhafer:

Predictions, the big ones.

Xhafer:

I have a huge twist that I think is going to happen in this show.

Xhafer:

I don't know if it will happen next episode.

Xhafer:

Probably not.

Xhafer:

I think this is kind of a, a season four, maybe season three finale kind of a deal.

Xhafer:

Or how many seasons?

Ben:

Uh, six.

Ben:

Six.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

Um,

Ben:

I don't

Xhafer:

Walter's cancer diagnosis is correct.

Ben:

Mm.

Xhafer:

Um,

Xhafer:

it's

Xhafer:

kind of the

Xhafer:

imps for

Xhafer:

all this.

Xhafer:

I think he's got that bug that he's go, is going around.

Xhafer:

Like

Xhafer:

he says, it'll possibly

Xhafer:

turn into pneumonia,

Ben:

but

Xhafer:

do think

Xhafer:

he's going

Ben:

to get

Xhafer:

lung

Xhafer:

damage or possibly even cancer

Xhafer:

from cooking the

Xhafer:

meth.

Ben:

Interesting.

Xhafer:

So his initial diagnosis incorrect.

Xhafer:

He is going to end up with some kind of lung

Xhafer:

disease

Xhafer:

or issue from chemical exposure, from cooking the meth.

Xhafer:

That is what will end up killing

Xhafer:

him.

Xhafer:

But the impetus of his pending demise starting this all off

Ben:

incorrect.

Ben:

I, I love the idea of, you know, end of season three, he's murdered

Ben:

so many people, he's cooked so much meth, and hey, great news.

Ben:

We got your scans back.

Xhafer:

back.

Ben:

Um, everything's fine.

Xhafer:

we finally did a biopsy, like real doctors.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

Uh, so my primetime prediction, uh, is based on my MVP for the episode.

Ben:

Okay.

Ben:

My boy Gomez.

Xhafer:

All right.

Ben:

I, I, I like Gomez.

Ben:

He spends all day putting up with Hank.

Ben:

Uh,

Ben:

and, uh, but alas, I'm, I, I feel that Gomez is going to be murdered violently.

Ben:

By Hank.

Ben:

By Hank.

Ben:

By Hank.

Ben:

Okay.

Xhafer:

That's a prediction.

Xhafer:

All right,

Xhafer:

so, um, I'm just pulling up

Xhafer:

the episode

Xhafer:

synopsis.

Ben:

There is

Xhafer:

no season

Xhafer:

one episode eight.

Ben:

Oh shit.

Xhafer:

It only ran for seven episodes

Xhafer:

in the first season.

Xhafer:

So our next episode will be

Xhafer:

season two, episode one.

Ben:

one.

Ben:

We are okay.

Ben:

You hope nothing cool happens in the season one finale.

Xhafer:

Uh, well, we'll probably get a little last time on to catch us up a

Ben:

bit.

Ben:

Are we allowed to watch a, a.

Xhafer:

the name of the podcast is last time on,

Ben:

but if there is like a season recap at the start of the next

Ben:

episode, I think we have to skip it.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Ben:

Yeah.

Ben:

Yep, that's,

Xhafer:

That's fair.

Xhafer:

Okay.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Skip recap.

Xhafer:

Ooh.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Ooh, we're gonna miss that context.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

But what we won't be missing is season two episode 1, 7 37, as they lay

Xhafer:

plans for their final big drug deals.

Xhafer:

Walton Jesse worry that their sole buyer will think nothing of

Xhafer:

killing them when it suits him.

Ben:

So we're already done making drugs.

Xhafer:

got it done in one season.

Xhafer:

Good job

Xhafer:

boys.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

Well, with that, we want to say thank you to ripe for letting us use one of her.

Xhafer:

Absolute favorite songs, goon squad as our theme music.

Xhafer:

They're currently touring until the end of August.

Xhafer:

You can check them out on Spotify or wherever else you listen to music.

Xhafer:

We'd also like to say thank you to a netlist Sienna for that

Xhafer:

wonderful photograph of a TV that we use to create our cover image.

Xhafer:

Thank you for producing art and then licensing it under creative commons.

Xhafer:

So that artists who are just doing their thing.

Xhafer:

Without the intention of making money like ben and i can use it for our needs as

Xhafer:

well we really appreciate that thank you

Xhafer:

I just cranked you up a bunch.

Ben:

Okay.

Ben:

Well I'm now all cranked.

Ben:

You can call me Jason Statham cuz I'm cranked too.

Xhafer:

too.

Xhafer:

Oh, all right.

Ben:

five points.

Ben:

If you can tell me the name of the character Jason Statham

Ben:

played in the crank films.

Xhafer:

Jason Crank.

Ben:

Chev Cellos.

Ben:

The answer was Chev Cellos.

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About the Podcast

Last Time On
Who's Got Time For All This Prestige TV?
Who has time for all this prestige television these days? Not us! That's why Ben and Xhafer are going through "must watch" TV by skipping a random number of episodes in-between each viewing and connecting the dots on what happened. What happened Last Time On? What happen hurr?

Shout out to Ripe for our theme music, Goon Squad. Find them wherever you listen to music.

About your hosts

Benjamin Curley

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Xhafer Husen

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