Episode 16

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Published on:

6th Oct 2026

LTO Parasocial Hang

We didn't have time for prestige television this week, so Ben and Xhafer just chill and talk about a bunch of stuff. They find out what sopranos characters they and discuss some difficult choices.

Transcript
Speaker:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Hello, and welcome to Last Time On.

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This is a show for people who

wanna watch all this prestige

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television, but who's got time for it?

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Benjamin: Not Victor.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Not Victor and not us.

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I haven't, I haven't watched

the next episode yet either.

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It's been a…

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Well, it's been a crazy week.

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Benjamin: It has

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descript keeps getting shittier:

uh, to, uh, give you all a peek

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behind the curtain a little, uh,

yesterday was Victor's birthday, uh,

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as of recording, which in that air.

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It was also, uh, same

birthday as Ben's son.

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And then also our old co-host on

Ben and I's old pod, Draft the

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Universe, got married, uh, this

previous couple days ago here too.

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So

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Benjamin: Busy

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descript keeps getting shittier:

it has been…

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Sorry.

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Benjamin: Busy

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descript keeps getting shittier:

a real busy couple of days.

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So we're just doing a little

parasocial hang today.

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We're just doing something to keep

going and, uh, just talk a little

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Benjamin: listeners, when the

Patreon hits $1,000 a month, we will

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do a paragliding parasocial hang

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descript keeps getting shittier: Ooh.

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Benjamin: I'm afraid of heights,

so it's just mostly going to

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be me screaming, we will do it

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descript keeps getting shittier:

I am not the best with heights.

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Heights, um, I've got a problem

with falling I'm okay with though.

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It's weird.

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Like, I can be, um…

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God, uh, there's this, uh, very nice, I

mean, it's like, I think it's the Hilton

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in downtown Atlanta that's like 40 stories

or something and has a, like, glass

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elevator that you, like, just like, when

it's clean it looks like you're just on

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a platform up and down rising and stuff.

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Benjamin: Like outside of, like

side of the building elevator?

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah,

I'm fine going down hanging, like looking

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over the edge, hanging out and moving

downward, but the second I get off that

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elevator on the top floor and I'm on my

own and I'm moving around, freaking out.

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I don't know how I'd do in a paraglider,

but I guess we'll find out if we ever get

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a Patreon and it gets to $1,000 a month.

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Benjamin: been parasailing before, and

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descript keeps getting shittier:

off the side of a building once?

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Benjamin: yes.

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Uh, I will say the, the scariest part…

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So, uh, listener at home, if you haven't

heard this story, I won a contest where

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the thing you got for winning, it was,

hey, you donate for charity, and then a

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certain number of winners get to rappel

off of a skyscraper in downtown Detroit.

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Uh,

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descript keeps getting shittier: Mm-hmm.

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Benjamin: I believe it's 40-something

stories, something around there.

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Big building.

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Uh, and the, the scariest part

about it is you can't-- You don't

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test your harness standing up on

the top of the, the, the wall.

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You, you-- The first time you are

putting weight on the harness on

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the actual line is as you lean off.

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Like, they test you, like, on a,

like, swing set, and they're just

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like, "Hey, your, like, your harness

isn't going to, like, fall off."

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But the first time I'm t-trusting the

rope that is going to be sending me down

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the building is as I lean off of it.

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That

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descript keeps getting shittier: Mm-hmm.

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Benjamin: scariest moment.

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah,

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Benjamin: After

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descript keeps getting shittier: I bet

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Benjamin: was mostly fine until, uh,

my one problem was I didn't drink

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much water that day because I was,

knew I was going to be doing this,

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and I'm like, "Ben, the last thing

you want is to have to pee, like,

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descript keeps getting shittier: During

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Benjamin: down when you

gotta go another 30."

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

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Benjamin: but I als- But then it

was, "Actually, no, Ben, the problem

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is your legs cramping up when you

got about 10 stories left to go."

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That sucked.

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Uh, but, uh, so par- I haven't

gone para-, uh, paragliding, but

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parasailing, you know, being dragged

behind a boat on a parachute.

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S- Once you get up pretty

high, pretty peaceful.

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The problem is then the only

sounds you hear are the squeaking

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of the parasail and, like,

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descript keeps getting shittier: Угу

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Benjamin: action, and it's just

like every squeak, I'm just like,

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"Is that a carabiner failing?

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Is that a carabiner failing?"

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I'm gonna have a long time to think

about why did Dad sign us up for this.

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Uh, the view was really cool

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, I bet.

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Huh, all right

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Benjamin: All right.

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Well, uh

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Let's see.

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Do you want, do we wanna

do your thing first?

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, we can do my thing first.

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Yeah.

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We- we each brought a little

something to do while we're talking.

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Um, and I thought it'd be fun,

uh, to do a, uh, a Sopranos

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"What character are you?"

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Um, this is from Soprano's Blueprint,

uh, the blog formerly known as Woke

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Up This Morning and Got Myself a Blog

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Benjamin: Uh, this is also, be

careful what you click on here.

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It looks like some of the

ads are designed to trick you

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descript keeps getting shittier: Oh, okay

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I just hit the Take Quiz button

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Benjamin: Yeah, but the, the

ads are continue to start, uh,

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like make it look like it is the

button you click to take the quiz

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, I didn't get any of those, but

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I've got, I've got ad blockers at

the hardware level and stuff, so

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Benjamin: and this website is cancer.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

I had no idea.

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It looks like a normal website to me.

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Benjamin: All right, so our

first question: It's the weekend.

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What are you most likely

up to pre-COVID anyway?

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descript keeps getting shittier: Uh, most

likely up to or what I wanna be doing.

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I'm probably

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Like doing some light chores.

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On Sundays I, I like,

Sundays I like to clean.

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I like to get a bunch of cleaning done

before football if it's that time of year

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So I'm gonna go ahead and pick that one

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Benjamin: I'm spending

time with the family

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

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Um

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Benjamin: All right.

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Would you consider yourself

a religious person?

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descript keeps getting shittier: Um,

there's not a no on here notably.

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Benjamin: I mean, no would be I don't fall

for any of that black magic sick shit.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

I, I think that's a little

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more than my feelings on it.

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I mean, I, I put up a

Christmas tree and stuff.

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Uh, I'll, I'll do Easter dinners,

so I guess I'm not religious, but

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I celebrate the major holidays

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Benjamin: All right.

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Which quote resonates the most with you?

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"If you can quote the

rules, you can obey them."

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was born, grew up, fent-- spent a few

years in the Army, couple more in the

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can, and here I am, half a wise guy."

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, I know who says that.

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Benjamin: I wish the

Lord would take me now.

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I'm guessing that's Livia.

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

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Benjamin: You're only as

good as your last envelope.

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And Madame de Stael, uh, Stael

said, "In life, one must choose

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between boredom and suffering."

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I don't like a quote with a quote in it

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, that's,

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um

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Benjamin: That's just a,

uh, pedantic framing thing

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

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I don't know.

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I don't like any of these.

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Um

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I guess if I've got a…

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You haven't said what you're gonna pick

on any of these yet, Ben, by the way

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Benjamin: I said first one with my family.

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

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Benjamin: last one, uh, was…

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I forget which the wording was, but I

am a, I am a religious person, uh, so

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I picked the answer that, that is that

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

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Uh, what are you pi-- what

are you thinking here?

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Benjamin: This one I'm thinking if you

can quote the rules, you can obey them.

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That feels the most paladin-y answer,

even though I know these are crime rules.

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

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I'm gonna go with you're only

as good as your last envelope.

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I don't think it's every- anything I

would ever say or feel, but of all of

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these things, it's probably the closest

to something I might express at some point

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Benjamin: I didn't know the Anthrax guy

from the early:

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, did you get a

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Benjamin: No, it's you're only

as good as your last envelope

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descript keeps getting shittier: Oh, oh,

I, I thought you meant Anthrax the band.

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Benjamin: no.

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I'm talking about the guy who was

mailing out envelopes of anthrax in the

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early 2000s when this show was, was on.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Man, things I have not

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thought about in a long time.

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Benjamin: I was

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descript keeps getting shittier:

All right, next

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Benjamin: thing that

could be in that envelope?

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Anthrax."

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descript keeps getting shittier: Uh,

if you could go back and change one

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thing in your life, what would it be?

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Uh, I wouldn't have given my parents

so much trouble when I was younger.

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I would've done things

differently in my career.

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I wouldn't have settled down so quickly.

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I'd spend more time with family or

close ones that have since passed away.

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I would relax a little bit more

and not sweat the small stuff.

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Nothing, everything happened as intended.

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Or I would've made different

lifestyle choices, parentheses,

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drugs, partying, et cetera

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Benjamin: That's the one you should pick

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, I disagree, actually.

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I think everything happened as intended.

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Uh, I'm a happy person who is very

fortunate to have the people that

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I have around me in my life, uh,

who's got a moderately successful

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career, and I feel incredibly blessed.

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And if any single domino was different,

that probably wouldn't be true.

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Almost everything that's happened

to me, good or bad, has put me on

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a direct path to where I currently

am, and I don't want to change that

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Benjamin: I would have done

things differently with my career.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, that's fair.

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Benjamin: It's bad.

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It's real bad.

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Uh

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descript keeps getting shittier:

I'll probably feel the same in

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about five or six years when AI does

everything, but, you know, until then.

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Oh, well, actually, no, uh, we'll

see if it's happened by the time this

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episode airs, but the, uh, the AI bubble

might have popped about two days ago.

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Benjamin: Oh.

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descript keeps getting shittier: Uh, yeah.

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There's some, there's, uh,

been a, uh, a bunch of…

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I was just talking to, uh, our mutual

friend Shane about this actually, Ben.

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Uh, there's been a run on Oracle investors

pulling their money out right now

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Which is how the circular money stops.

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So we'll see.

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It'll take time to work its

way through everything, but, uh

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Benjamin: I don't wanna go through

the fourth major economic collapse

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since I graduated from college

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Fudge, man

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descript keeps getting shittier:

God, what were we…

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I was, I, I feel like I was out with,

uh, Beth's folks or something, or I

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think I was talking to her mom, and

I was just like, "Give me some of

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those precedented times, please."

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Benjamin: All right.

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What is your decision-making style?

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I often put off making decisions.

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Uh, I trust myself to make

decisions quickly and easily.

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to take my time and do a thorough

cost-benefit analysis of the

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options in front of me, Jafeir.

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Uh, and I prefer to-- that others take the

lead when it comes to calling the shots

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descript keeps getting shittier: I

used to be a cost-benefit analysis

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guy, and I found that most of the

time when I did that, I was right

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with my gut, and I trust myself a

lot more than I did in my youth now.

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Uh, so I got no problems making decisions

quickly and easily when required.

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There are times where you do

need to sit down and actually

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think and plot everything out,

of course, but for the most part

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Benjamin: I

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descript keeps getting shittier:

We're there

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Benjamin: paralysis, so I'm going with

the thorough cost benefit analysis

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descript keeps getting shittier: All right

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Something in your house breaks,

what's the first thing you try to do?

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Fix it on your own, call a professional,

call a friend, try to ignore it if

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it's not urgent, or throw it and

break something else in the process?

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I am fixing it on my own.

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Benjamin: Mm-hmm.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

I've reno'd entire rooms of

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my house from the ground up.

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Uh, I

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Benjamin: your house best feature

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Which was?

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Benjamin: The shower toilet

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, well, that was never attached.

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That was just

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Benjamin: that was the project,

and you, you decided no

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It's a full body bidet, Jafer

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descript keeps getting shittier: The water

wasn't turned on for the shower either.

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Benjamin: it was a

project you never finished

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descript keeps getting shittier: Ugh.

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Uh, yeah.

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Uh, that one's easy for me.

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I, uh, I will, I will just handle it.

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Uh, electrical, plumbing,

whatever, I'm good

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Benjamin: I will try to fix it, but

normally I try to ignore it first.

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Uh, like I had a sh- a toilet in

the basement that if you let the

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water on, would just keep running.

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The tank would just keep

flowing into the bowl.

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just used the shutoff, turned it off.

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When you needed to use the toilet,

you filled it up, use the toilet,

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and then turned the water off.

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I didn't just replace the toilet

because Well, I had a bad experience

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with the toilets in that house.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

That's fair

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Benjamin: uh, for anybody at

home who's ever replaced a

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toilet, normally it's super easy.

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It's like a 45-minute job.

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Uh, but this one, the pipe for the

toilet wasn't flush with the, the floor.

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It was about, uh, uh,

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descript keeps getting shittier:

It was an inch something.

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Benjamin: the ground

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descript keeps getting shittier: Because

the, the shim I ended up building for

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that toilet at the end of the day,

I believe was out of inch plywood

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Benjamin: Yes.

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Uh, and so you had to buy special toilets

that are meant for basements where they

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stick the pipe up that much so that

it's just above the concrete so that

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there's something to actually bolt it to.

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But I didn't know that.

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I just bought a normal toilet,

not the special expensive

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'50s basement toilet, 'cause I

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

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Benjamin: was a problem.

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Uh, so I spent six hours the

weekend before Henry was born

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trying to install this toilet

knowing this shouldn't be this hard.

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Um, so I try to ignore

it if it's not urgent.

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

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Benjamin: All

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descript keeps getting shittier:

at a party…

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Benjamin: Oh.

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descript keeps getting shittier: Go ahead

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Benjamin: At a party, where

most likely to find you

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Making or serving, uh, or

looking for food or drinks.

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Singing karaoke alone or with

one or two others, not drawing

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too much attention to yourself.

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Texting your friends and

asking for advice on the best

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excuse to get out of here ASAP.

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Trying to introduce yourself to the

attractive person across the room.

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Oh, is there a mirror?

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the last thing I'd

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descript keeps getting shittier: No

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Benjamin: soon is go to a party

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, I am usually hosting.

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Benjamin: Yeah

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descript keeps getting shittier:

like I host more than about half.

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I think that's probably a fair

number to put on it without

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actually sitting and counting.

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Uh, and I am usually making or serving

or looking for food and drinks, 100%.

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That's, that is what I am preoccupied with

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Benjamin: If it's the right kind of

party, I am 100% singing karaoke.

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descript keeps getting shittier: If

it's not the right kind of party,

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you're still singing anyways, just

without a backing track or TV, so

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Benjamin: absolutely.

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Uh, so I'm gonna go with singing karaoke.

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Uh, singing songs that shouldn't

ever be sang in karaoke.

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Uh, it's one of my favorite things to do.

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Uh, one time during the middle of

summer, I sang The Little Drummer Boy.

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Uh, but it was a college town in

a bar where they serve beer in mop

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buckets, the crowd was receptive.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, I do miss having the, uh, the

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karaoke bar and doing that, which

was a thing we did for a long time.

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That was good.

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All right, what's your biggest fear?

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Being seen as weak and/or not recognized

for your abilities, going broke, being

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lied to, dying alone, going to the can,

or the only thing to fear is fear itself

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Benjamin: Well, as a lactose

intolerant man, it's going to the

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descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

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Uh, genuinely terrified about dying

alone or just dying in general.

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So, uh, I'll go ahead and say close enough

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Benjamin: To be fair,

everyone dies on their own

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Well, yes, I know.

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That's, that's the problem actually

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Well, and that's not true.

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It could be a car accident

or plane crash or something.

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Benjamin: I go, I want to go like my

grandma, surrounded by my friends and

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family, just not in a car this time

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Ah, all right.

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If you had to pick one of these as

your theme song, what would you choose?

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White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane,

Through and Through by The Rolling Stones,

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Vesuvio by Spaccanapoli, Sally Go Round

These Roses by the Janettes, I'm a Man by

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Bo Diddley, any song by The Churchills,

or Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen

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Benjamin: None of these.

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Dear God

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descript keeps getting shittier: Uh

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Benjamin: 'Cause we all know

that if we had to pick a theme

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song, it would be by Rype.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

It's true.

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Benjamin: of the, uh,

their song Goon Squad.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

Having had theme songs, you know,

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Benjamin: Mm-hmm.

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descript keeps getting shittier:

we can shout out, uh, Jeremy

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Siegel's work over on "Who Are You?"

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Uh, give a shout-out to the Kickstand

Band, who we saw this weekend at

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the wedding, uh, who did the theme

song for, uh, Draft the Universe.

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Uh, I'll give a shout-out, uh,

Chingy and the Young Gunners.

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Uh, "Can't Stop, Won't Stop"

was my theme when I did backyard

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wrestling.

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Benjamin: What was the biggest

crowd you had backyard wrestling?

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descript keeps getting shittier:

It was always just practice,

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and we filmed it mostly

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Benjamin: Gotcha.

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All right.

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Well, what's your pick here?

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descript keeps getting shittier: Out

of this list, the obvious winner to me

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is "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen.

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Benjamin: Yeah.

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It was either that…

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I'm gonna go, since you picked

that one, I'm gonna go Stones.

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Uh, but I wouldn't pick any of these songs

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descript keeps getting shittier:

That's fair.

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Uh, what would you say is your best trait?

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:

Empathy, loyalty, thinking and planning

ahead, calm under pressure, I'm always up

379

:

for a good time, what you see is what you

get, you always know where you stand with

380

:

me, and my intelligence and/or work ethic

381

:

Those are very separate things

382

:

Benjamin: Yeah

383

:

descript keeps getting shittier: last one.

384

:

Uh, so I'll take the twofer.

385

:

Benjamin: Um, I'm going to go

with I'm very calm under pressure

386

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

That's true, for the most part.

387

:

Benjamin: Yeah。

388

:

descript keeps getting shittier: I, I, I,

uh, under real pressure, you're very calm.

389

:

Benjamin: Yeah, when

390

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

mild or light pressure,

391

:

Benjamin: yeah.

392

:

descript keeps getting shittier: spiral.

393

:

Benjamin: Yes.

394

:

You hit a point where I just burst

through the anxiety and I'm like, that

395

:

is, I've entered the avatar state.

396

:

Uh, and, uh, you know,

especially like, "Hey, there's

397

:

a medical emergency going on."

398

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

399

:

Benjamin: I'm locked in.

400

:

Uh, if it's just like, "Hey, Ben, there

might be a thing going on tomorrow,"

401

:

I'm like, "Well, now I'm debilitated."

402

:

Oh, no.

403

:

Oh, no.

404

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh.

405

:

Well, Steve Buscemi's in the show

406

:

Benjamin: Okay

407

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

because I got Tony Blundetto

408

:

Uh, liked, and it's Steve Buscemi clearly.

409

:

Uh, "Like Tony, you've made some

mistakes when you were younger, and

410

:

you definitely haven't taken the

most conventional of career paths."

411

:

True and true.

412

:

Uh, "You do make an effort

to grow and change, but old

413

:

dabit- old habits die hard."

414

:

I find myself unable to argue with this.

415

:

Benjamin: Yeah

416

:

descript keeps getting shittier: I

don't know if we'll see Steve Buscemi,

417

:

but good to know he's in the show

418

:

Benjamin: So you've heard my visceral

reaction to seeing my answer.

419

:

Do you have a

420

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

421

:

Benjamin: I got?

422

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, did you get Mama Soprano?

423

:

Benjamin: Not that bad.

424

:

Uh,

425

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay.

426

:

Okay.

427

:

Benjamin: Uh,

428

:

descript keeps getting shittier: ugh.

429

:

Okay

430

:

Benjamin: yeah.

431

:

Uh, Janus Soprano, which I believe is

the like, "Hey, you didn't pick enough

432

:

of the same things, so we're just…

433

:

You are the grab bag."

434

:

so it is, "You are still trying

to figure out who you are."

435

:

No, I know who I am.

436

:

Uh, "Sometimes you're unsure

of your own motivations."

437

:

No, I know my own fa- mo-mo- I know my

motivation, I just don't always like it.

438

:

Uh

439

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

If you had picked Born to Run,

440

:

this wouldn't have happened

441

:

Benjamin: Yeah.

442

:

Uh, do you really care about

that person thing or are you

443

:

just trying to get over the top?

444

:

Uh, that makes me sound much more

mercenary than I think I actually am.

445

:

Uh, but

446

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Agreed.

447

:

Benjamin: vie

448

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Uh,

refresh the quiz and give all the same

449

:

answers, but do change it to Born to Run.

450

:

I just wanna see if that

changes it real quick

451

:

Benjamin: Nope, that didn't change it

452

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

All right.

453

:

Well, good to know.

454

:

Benjamin: Yes,

455

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Janice

456

:

Benjamin: calm under pressure.

457

:

Uh,

458

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Uh, so,

uh, this was the thing I had picked out.

459

:

What'd you pick out?

460

:

Benjamin: So I've got a couple of would

you, would you rather questions for you.

461

:

descript keeps getting shittier: All right

462

:

Benjamin: Uh, so this is-- I, I

came up with one that I asked,

463

:

uh, Glorianne over dinner,

464

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

465

:

Benjamin: as to your answer to it.

466

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

467

:

Benjamin: Would you rather have, uh, the,

the curse of Cassandra so you are aware

468

:

of the future but no one believes you?

469

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Mm-hmm.

470

:

Benjamin: Or,

471

:

descript keeps getting shittier: that, so

doesn't matter what the other thing is.

472

:

Benjamin: or the inverse where you have

no idea of the future, but everyone

473

:

believes that you can see the future

474

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Um, I have predicted a ton of

475

:

stuff that has actually happened,

uh, historically speaking.

476

:

And, uh, also I would say it

extends to my taste in music.

477

:

Uh, I have a tendency of

listening to a song a year before

478

:

it becomes a one-hit wonder.

479

:

Uh, Ben, you've been around for a

handful of these over the years.

480

:

You can testify that that's not bullshit.

481

:

Benjamin: That's true

482

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Um, I just, I don't know.

483

:

I, I know how to pick them, and

then everything seems to happen.

484

:

So I, I do believe of these two,

I, I definitely feel a little

485

:

bit more Curse of Cassandry.

486

:

In terms of what I would rather

have, uh, the smug sureness of

487

:

knowing I'm correct, of course.

488

:

Easy answer

489

:

Benjamin: Even though no

one will ever believe you

490

:

descript keeps getting shittier: I

mean, they usually don't, so it's

491

:

not that much of a change, and

I know I'm right, so that's cool

492

:

Benjamin: Uh, that's, that's

the true curse of Cassandra.

493

:

She wasn't just cocky enough

to be like, "Yeah, fuck 'em."

494

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, what was your answer?

495

:

Benjamin: I, so, uh, Glo really

got introspective about this

496

:

because the only way to do anything

with the second one requires you

497

:

to just start lying to people.

498

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

499

:

Benjamin: Now, if everyone believes,

you know, I can see the future,

500

:

I can, I can do crazy things to

try and manipulate the world.

501

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

502

:

Benjamin: it requires me to take action.

503

:

And this is why I think that's

interesting because the, the Cassandra

504

:

version of it, uh, the option A,

you can take the passive route.

505

:

I don't have to tell anybody the future.

506

:

I don't have to try and

influence the world.

507

:

I'm not trying to…

508

:

You know, you don't have to like,

"Well, I'm gonna reverse engineer

509

:

things, and if everybody b- like,

can't believe me about the future,

510

:

well, then what happens if I lie?

511

:

Does everybody automatically,

you know, believe the opposite?

512

:

Or am, am I Biff Tannen-ing where

it's just like, 'Okay, maybe nobody

513

:

believes me, but I can bet on all these

sports games and make a ton of money?'"

514

:

Um, but you don't have to do any of that.

515

:

For

516

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

517

:

Benjamin: to make any use of

the second power, you have

518

:

to go out and lie to people

519

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Well, you'll still be wrong though

520

:

Benjamin: You might be.

521

:

You just don't

522

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Well, well no, because the

523

:

caveat was you're wrong,

524

:

Benjamin: No, the caveat

525

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Every…

526

:

Benjamin: know the future.

527

:

descript keeps getting shittier: You

don't know but everyone believes you?

528

:

Well, then it doesn't matter if

you lie or tell the truth because

529

:

you're still gonna be right or wrong.

530

:

Benjamin: Like,

531

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

532

:

Benjamin: make decisions based off not

just, "I find Jafar persuasive," but,

533

:

"Jafar is the guy who can see the future."

534

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

535

:

Benjamin: Uh, they are

making decisions based on

536

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Why…

537

:

So, but, but your accuracy,

your, your accuracy is

538

:

unimpacted by your truthfulness

539

:

Benjamin: Your accuracy is

unimpacted by, uh, well, by

540

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Right?

541

:

Because yeah, you're, you're,

y- so why do you have to lie?

542

:

You might be right, you might be wrong.

543

:

There's no reason to, there's no,

like, no ethical reason to lie there

544

:

Benjamin: No, but in order, like,

if you're making a call that, like,

545

:

everybody already believes, that's

hard to, like, in any way use

546

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

different than lying.

547

:

I, I, I, I, I'm failing to

understand why lying is advantageous

548

:

with the non-Cassandra thing

549

:

Benjamin: Uh, lying would be

advantageous because I could be like,

550

:

like, "Don't vote, vote for that guy.

551

:

He's going to, you know, do this,

do that, do everything else."

552

:

And everybody goes, "Oh, I

didn't think he was going to do

553

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay,

so you're actively manipulating people

554

:

Benjamin: it to actively

manipulate the world

555

:

descript keeps getting shittier: But

you don't know if you're lying or not.

556

:

So y-

557

:

Benjamin: you

558

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

yeah, but that doesn't…

559

:

So you're not lying and you're

not telling the truth, you're

560

:

guessing and everyone believes you.

561

:

Benjamin: Yes

562

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

than lying

563

:

Benjamin: But you know you don't have

the power, which does make it lying

564

:

descript keeps getting shittier: No.

565

:

No, you're still guessing.

566

:

Like, you know, no one

has this power, right?

567

:

Benjamin: Right.

568

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

you, y- Well, that's the thing is

569

:

like, it'd be like this is true of

anything you've ever predicted, Ben.

570

:

Like, because no one actually

knows if they're right or not

571

:

Benjamin: But,

572

:

descript keeps getting shittier: in

the future, there's a 50/50 chance.

573

:

It either happens or it

574

:

Benjamin: no.

575

:

No, fuck

576

:

descript keeps getting shittier: doesn't.

577

:

Ah, the long play.

578

:

All right.

579

:

Um,

580

:

Benjamin: All right, this is, this is

the funniest one I found in my search.

581

:

Uh, you rather poop in the only

toilet at a party, blowing it up and

582

:

everyone knows it's you, or poop in the

bushes having plausible deniability?

583

:

Please hurry.

584

:

Uh,

585

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

It depends a lot on where I'm

586

:

Benjamin: Yeah.

587

:

descript keeps getting shittier: at.

588

:

Benjamin: My, my gut reaction on that

one, and it is a gut reaction because

589

:

it's the bathroom, I don't care.

590

:

Everybody will know I'm not pooping in

the place that doesn't have toilet paper.

591

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

That's fair.

592

:

Benjamin: Yeah

593

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Um,

uh, I mean, I'm definitely nine times

594

:

out of 10 I'm blowing up that bathroom.

595

:

I don't, I don't know what the

circumstances would be where I

596

:

would opt for the bushes, but I will

acknowledge that that seems like

597

:

a scenario that exists in my mind.

598

:

I just can't fathom what it would be

599

:

Benjamin: All right,

next one I have for you.

600

:

Uh, would you rather be able

to master instantly physical

601

:

skills or five mental skills?

602

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Like what would, which would

603

:

I prefer to do, be able to do?

604

:

Benjamin: you get, uh, like you

are given a sheet of paper and you

605

:

can write down five physical skills

or five mental skills and boom,

606

:

you are now world-class proficient

607

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh

man, you can do so much more with

608

:

mental skills than physical skills.

609

:

Benjamin: True

610

:

descript keeps getting shittier: 'Cause

it's like I would write down, "Be

611

:

able to learn a language in two days,"

612

:

Benjamin: I, it is limited to a

more specific thing, like you'd have

613

:

to use each line for a language.

614

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh, even

615

:

Benjamin: it's not the

skill to get more skills

616

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, what about stuff that's

617

:

kind of like in between?

618

:

Like I would say playing

piano is kind of both

619

:

Benjamin: So playing piano would

be co- I'd count that as one skill.

620

:

You can't be play a musical instrument.

621

:

That

622

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

well, yeah, no, I'm, but I'm

623

:

asking is that physical or mental?

624

:

Benjamin: Uh, ooh,

625

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

626

:

Yeah.

627

:

See?

628

:

Right?

629

:

Like it's, there's stuff that's

in the middle that's interesting

630

:

Benjamin: That one I would

consider a physical skill

631

:

because it requires movement.

632

:

Uh

633

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, but I mean…

634

:

I mean, there, there's definitely

a physical component to it, but

635

:

it's not solely a physical skill

636

:

Benjamin: but that's the same of

like fencing or playing football.

637

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

638

:

Benjamin: This is just the,

the line I've made arbitrarily

639

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Yeah, yeah.

640

:

Well, I mean, like, okay, so if playing

piano counts as physical, would learning

641

:

a coding language also count as physical

since you have to type everything?

642

:

Benjamin: I'm gonna say no because

it doesn't feel the same to me,

643

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

644

:

Benjamin: it's both hitting keys.

645

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

646

:

Well, no, this is, these are the questions

I'm asking to, uh, encourage thinking,

647

:

Benjamin: Yeah

648

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

necessarily, uh, trying to

649

:

cheat the rules right now.

650

:

I'm, I'm exploring the space

651

:

Benjamin: the point of these kind

of questions without trying to

652

:

find loopholes and cheat the rules?

653

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Fair enough.

654

:

Um, hmm

655

:

I feel like I have not had a mental

skill that I have applied myself

656

:

thoroughly for that I couldn't

get at least proficient at.

657

:

And there are physical skills,

especially at my advanced age.

658

:

God, if I didn't tell you, fucking my

junior developer at work said anyone,

659

:

uh, s- they asked what age elderly starts

at, and he said 35 without thinking

660

:

Benjamin: That's just wrong

661

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

I agree wholeheartedly.

662

:

Everyone else at the table did

as he was openly scoffed at.

663

:

Listener, he is in his early 20s.

664

:

So yeah, there are physical skills though

that I've definitely had a hard time.

665

:

I've experienced the body unable to

keep up with my mind while doing things,

666

:

particularly like aforementioned fencing.

667

:

There's definitely been times where

my body was not able to react with the

668

:

speed that my mind was comprehending the

movements of everything going on around.

669

:

And so for that, just to, I guess,

compensate for having felt that in the

670

:

past, I would probably pick physical.

671

:

But I think the smarter

choice is to pick mental.

672

:

Benjamin: I would agree, uh, you

know, part of me is just like

673

:

You know, I could, I could pick something

and just have it instantly, you know,

674

:

be easy and done, but wouldn't you

rather see me hit a couple of dingers?

675

:

You know, yeah

676

:

descript keeps getting shittier: I'd love

to be able to throw a perfect spiral.

677

:

Benjamin: Yeah.

678

:

One of my greatest achievements

is throwing a touchdown pass

679

:

on a college football field.

680

:

awesome.

681

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

682

:

Benjamin: All right, last

one I've got for you, and

683

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Okay

684

:

Benjamin: I've, I've done with

some coworkers at my old job.

685

:

You are given, uh, the ability that

by committing one crime, no one is

686

:

ever able to commit that crime again.

687

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Ooh.

688

:

You have to commit the crime though?

689

:

Benjamin: to commit the crime

690

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Ooh, fuck.

691

:

Okay.

692

:

Benjamin: So

693

:

descript keeps getting shittier: my

immediate-- my mind immediately at

694

:

the prompt goes to something heinous,

695

:

Benjamin: Yeah

696

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

to stop people from doing,

697

:

but I have to do it myself.

698

:

I can't do those heinous things.

699

:

Um, oh, insider trading.

700

:

Benjamin: Ah.

701

:

descript keeps getting shittier: answer.

702

:

Yeah.

703

:

Benjamin: actually like that one.

704

:

All right.

705

:

Um, yeah, 'cause for a lot of

people it's just like, "All right,

706

:

well, I'll, like, kinda Dexter it,

and I'll, like, murder a bad guy."

707

:

Uh, then it's just like, "All right, now

no one can commit murder, uh, you know,

708

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah

709

:

Benjamin: good or ill."

710

:

Uh, all right.

711

:

Uh, you know, s- uh, one, uh, you

know, "Hey, I, like, surprised

712

:

Jafar at his house, throw him in

my trunk, and then drive across

713

:

the, uh, the Gordie Howe Bridge,

and now no more human trafficking."

714

:

Uh, um,

715

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

716

:

I would, he, he, uh, I mean,

like, I don't-- Does that count?

717

:

Is that innocuous enough?

718

:

Like, that's the thing is 'cause it's

like, okay, like I'd love to stop

719

:

those heinous things, but I don't

think I'm gonna be able to commit any

720

:

of those heinous things that I would

love to stop to be able to stop it.

721

:

Uh, so, you know

722

:

Benjamin: up with is speeding

10 miles over the speed limit

723

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, fuck you.

724

:

Don't take that away from me.

725

:

Benjamin: Net, it will

probably save more lives

726

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh.

727

:

Benjamin: murder

728

:

descript keeps getting shittier: I

mean, you were at the first PowerPoint

729

:

party I hosted where I fooled everyone

into, uh, the s- setting the universal

730

:

speed limit to 25 miles per hour

731

:

Where I was talking about…

732

:

It was like the…

733

:

Listener, this was during, uh, COVID.

734

:

We were bubbled.

735

:

And, uh, I hosted a Power Pint

party, uh, with the art bubble.

736

:

And, uh, my, uh, my, my, my whole

speech was about how you have to

737

:

make a small sacrifice in order

to save lives, and it was all…

738

:

It was like…

739

:

And I made it sound like it was about

masking up for, like, 10 minutes before I

740

:

got booed by everyone I l- hold dear, uh,

as I said, "We just have to drop the speed

741

:

limit to 25 miles per hour, and we can

stop all traffic-related deaths globally."

742

:

Benjamin: I,

743

:

descript keeps getting shittier: All you

are is mildly inconvenienced in traveling

744

:

twice as long as you would've been

otherwise, three times as long, depending

745

:

Benjamin: much as some other,

you know, some other options.

746

:

Uh,

747

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

748

:

Benjamin: I also enjoy driving,

uh, but that's just 'cause

749

:

I get my podcast time in.

750

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

751

:

Well, you'd have twice

as much podcast time

752

:

Benjamin: Exactly.

753

:

And it would slow everything

down a bit, which would be nice.

754

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

755

:

And also just all accidents would

be survivable almost by default

756

:

Benjamin: I'm not gonna quite go that far.

757

:

My thought was just, hey, if you get rid

of anybody going 10 miles above the speed

758

:

limit, you're going to a lot of problems,

like huge difference in residential areas.

759

:

descript keeps getting shittier: I

mean, how much of it do you have to do?

760

:

Benjamin: What do you mean?

761

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Well,

I mean, you could convince me to slam

762

:

five beers and drive around the block

to stop anyone from drunk driving.

763

:

Benjamin: That's true, yeah.

764

:

Uh

765

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Does that-- Is that enough

766

:

drunk driving to count?

767

:

Benjamin: I think, uh,

768

:

descript keeps getting shittier: I

stage the scenario where I close the

769

:

roads ahead of time or something so that

there's no chance of hurting anybody?

770

:

Benjamin: I

771

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Like

772

:

Benjamin: I think you

could even do it easier.

773

:

You could, uh, call the police

to your house and then try to

774

:

get behind the wheel while drunk

775

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Oh, okay

776

:

Benjamin: Then you never even have

to like leave the driveway, but as

777

:

soon as you turn the ignition, you

are operating under the influence

778

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Well, I think actually in our

779

:

state, sitting in the driver's

seat while intoxicated counts.

780

:

Benjamin: I believe it

781

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Uh, I b- I actually remember quite

782

:

distinctly, uh, a friend of ours, uh,

having trouble with that once because

783

:

they were sleeping in their car because

they could not drive home and were drunk

784

:

in the driver's seat, and that was a

whole thing they had to go through.

785

:

So you wouldn't even have to,

like, get in the car and move.

786

:

You just gotta get in the car.

787

:

You don't even have to turn it on.

788

:

Uh, if, if that's enough to count.

789

:

I mean, I'm looking

for, uh, the lines here.

790

:

If,

791

:

Benjamin: think

792

:

descript keeps getting shittier: if, if it

doesn't count unless you, like, get into

793

:

a car accident drunk or something, so…

794

:

Oh, you gotta get caught doing the thing?

795

:

Benjamin: Yeah

796

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, that changes my…

797

:

Well, eh, Club Fed probably wouldn't

be that bad for insider trading

798

:

Benjamin: Yeah.

799

:

Or, uh, invite you over and say, "Hey,

will you help me move these logs for $10?"

800

:

And you're like, "Yeah."

801

:

And then I give you $5, and I'm

like, "What you gonna do about it?"

802

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, wage theft?

803

:

Benjamin: wage theft is now, now

not something that can be done

804

:

descript keeps getting shittier: The

most common form of theft, listener

805

:

Benjamin: all other

forms of theft combined.

806

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yes

807

:

Benjamin: All right.

808

:

Well, that's 40 minutes

of parasocial relationship

809

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Yeah.

810

:

Good hang, Ben.

811

:

Benjamin: Yeah.

812

:

I was worried we wouldn't have anything

to talk about having spent most of the

813

:

last weekend together, and we can't

talk about what did you, what have you

814

:

been up to 'cause we were together.

815

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Right?

816

:

Did you like the food at the wedding?

817

:

Benjamin: literally three

feet to your right of Sunday.

818

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Beautiful wedding, though.

819

:

Uh, did you get to see the

photo that got taken of me

820

:

towards the end of the evening?

821

:

Benjamin: I don't think so

822

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Um,

so they didn't have a flower girl,

823

:

they had a bubble girl at this wedding

824

:

Benjamin: was

825

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

with a bubble wand.

826

:

And then the couple who, uh, LARPed

together also with Ben and I, um, had a,

827

:

like, sword and shield, uh, photo shoot as

part of their wedding for a moment there.

828

:

And so I had the shield and the

bubble wand for about 45 seconds as

829

:

I was taking props from the photo

shoot back into the reception hall,

830

:

and I did a, like, little flourish

with the bubble wand and the shield,

831

:

and it turned into a majestic shot.

832

:

Uh, so I'll send it to you

when we're done recording

833

:

Benjamin: Awesome.

834

:

Make it your, uh, new

profile pic in the Discord

835

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, that's probably a good call.

836

:

Yeah.

837

:

Um, I'll, I'll do that.

838

:

That'll be fun.

839

:

Benjamin: All

840

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

All right.

841

:

Cool, listener.

842

:

Thanks for joining us.

843

:

If you made it this far, you probably

like hearing us talk, so you should

844

:

probably get in the Discord and talk to

us more, 'cause that's fun, and we'll

845

:

respond to you, and sometimes I'll

be your personal tech support also.

846

:

Benjamin: That has happened, yep

847

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

It's happened a couple of

848

:

times in the last week.

849

:

Um, Ripe, thanks for doing,

giving us Goon Squad, uh, letting

850

:

us use it as our theme music.

851

:

We appreciate the hell out of it.

852

:

We're looking forward to

seeing you in a couple months.

853

:

Benjamin: Hell

854

:

descript keeps getting shittier: Also,

Carly Rae Jepsen just announced tour

855

:

dates, and she's gotta stop in Detroit.

856

:

I'm fucking excited.

857

:

Benjamin: is Rae and the friends

858

:

descript keeps getting shittier:

Oh, oh, I missed that one.

859

:

Okay, we'll talk about that in a moment.

860

:

Um, and then, uh, yeah.

861

:

Yeah, if, if you like that.

862

:

Otherwise, uh, get in the

Discord and tell Victor.

863

:

Benjamin: Yeah.

864

:

Give us five stars and then

in parentheses, "When, when

865

:

Victor's not on the podcast."

866

:

That won't hurt his mental health at all,

and he w- he won't take it personally.

867

:

Uh, and we will see you

next time on Last Time On.

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About the Podcast

Last Time On
Who's Got Time For All This Prestige TV?
Who has time for all this prestige television these days? Not us! That's why Ben, Victor, and Xhafer are going through "must watch" TV by skipping a random number of episodes in-between each viewing and connecting the dots on what happened. What happened Last Time On? What happen hurr?

Shout out to Ripe for our theme music, Goon Squad. Find them wherever you listen to music.

About your hosts

Benjamin Curley

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Xhafer Husen

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