viper s2e11 - only a cheesemonger can say sample the goods

Speaker: 00:00:00

Music Outro

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Hey, it's,

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it's, it's, it's last time on again.

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: 00:00:32

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Come on, bring the energy.

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: 00:00:34

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

we do, we do the TV shows

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: 00:00:36

that you're not gonna watch.

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: 00:00:39

Because we shouldn't be either.

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: 00:00:43

Ugh.

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Ben.

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Ben, you've tortured me.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I am Ben.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

We are, we are Victor less today.

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I'm Ja'far.

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Um, and we are without,

we are without Victor.

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Victor is feeling ill, so everyone

send good energy towards Victor's way.

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Uh, good healing energies, uh, to Victor.

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Uh, I think he's just

got a cold or something.

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It's something serious, but, but

he's, he's cannot be recording today.

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His sinuses, I'm sure his

voice is all stuffed up and

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

He's got those deep dulcet tones.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: How

lucky he is to not have to talk about this

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terrible fucking episode of television,

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I don't know what you're

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talking about, Ja'far.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

How blessed.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

masterpiece.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I, what divine providence

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that he need not speak of it.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I hope he already watched it.

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Because he didn't know.

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Uh, yeah.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: He

will before this episode airs, I'm sure.

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Uh, God, man, this, this fucking episode.

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Here's, here's how bad this was, Ben.

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Um, I started the wrong episode on

accident when I started watching

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this episode of podcast and I got a

full like two minutes into the next

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episode before I remembered it was

supposed to be about drag racing and

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nothing towards that was happening at

all in the plot and I bumped out and

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realized I had clicked the wrong one.

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The next episode looks so much better,

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that I just had, I had that taste

in my mouth the entire time.

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Just the, we could have been watching

the one about what I'm guessing was,

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and I only watched two minutes and it

didn't get to this point, a nanomachine

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infused robot going on a killing spree.

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Much like,

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

that episode of Babylon 5.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: that

terrible fucking episode of Babylon 5.

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And that sounded better than this.

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That's, that's where we fucking

were on, uh, God, I didn't even

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write down the episode name.

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I was so disgusted with it.

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Yes,

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

on

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I don't think

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Now Jaffer, I

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have to ask.

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In the course of this episode,

do we ever go to Thunder Road?

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We don't.

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That is the one and only

mistake this episode makes.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

mean, I guess there is a breakdown of

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

uh,

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

a car at one point.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

it explodes.

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A couple of

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cars explode.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

no, the Viper breaks down for a minute.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh yeah,

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Maybe, so maybe that's

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de facto Thunder Road.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

yeah I guess.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Man, there are a number of car

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explosions in this episode.

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I wonder what happened there.

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Like.

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Because I didn't see any

dodges getting blown up.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Uh, just some Pontiacs.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Pontiacs is, yeah.

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I think one was a Plymouth.

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But yeah.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

But we open

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in media heist.

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Ha

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

We open on a volatile liquid storage

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is the name on the sign here.

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Nothing of honor lives here.

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Some robbers are watching.

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And a guy who got into a car with guns for

headlights said nobody gets hurt, right?

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And then handed a pistol.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, uh, I do love that.

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Like, hey, nobody's

going to get hurt, right?

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You're in the machine gun car.

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People are going to get hurt.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

There will be hurting.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Uh, and we get a heist done by the

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least discreet criminals in history.

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They've got machine gun, Uh,

Hot Rods, and what, Jaffar?

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

A fucking monster

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Heeeell yeah.

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Uh, you know, there's something to

be said for being so above the radar.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

The bravado.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

it's the sort of thing when you tell

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the police, like, Yeah, they stole all

of our rocket fuel in a monster truck.

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Did you just lose your rocket

fuel and you're just lying to us?

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Like if you said you threw it in back

of a panel van, we'd be like, okay,

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well put out an APB on a panel van.

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When you said a giant

lifted monster truck,

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do you huff in that fuel?

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Which monster truck was it?

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They all have names.

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Surely this one had a big name

painted on the side of it.

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A name is required.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And then one of them gets pushed off of

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the, off of the top of the silver dome.

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. Tickets are just 10 bucks.

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The first 100 people at the

gate get a can of natural light.

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Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: so

like, they start just spraying bullets.

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Like, there is volatile

liquid stored outside.

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Like, besides just the rocket fuel.

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Which is like on a truck that they're

moving at that moment There's also

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like a ton of propane tanks and they're

just actively firing countless bullets

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into this general area And it's just

like if there's one place on fucking

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earth You don't spray fucking bullets

into it's probably the building that

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has volatile liquids written on it

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, no, it's, it is in line

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with the level of competence and

intelligence of the villains we

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are working with this episode.

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So, it's great

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

of Speaking of the competence and

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intelligence of the villains that

we're working with this episode,

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let's talk about the competence

and intelligence of the heroes

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we're working with this episode.

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No Joe, no Julian.

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Only Frankie has survived

to Team Viper season two.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

J'fair?

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And Frankie's not even the same.

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Where did his accent go?

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

You made a mistake here.

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You say, no, no, Joe.

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We clearly have a lead male character

with a mid part and our drapey hair.

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Tom is, uh, Joe Frank or Joe Mike.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Joe Mike,

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Joe

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Joe Astor, Mike Payton.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

He's just had his memory

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wiped

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Tom?

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Thomas is our new main character, Thomas

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Cole.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

his name.

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Oh, Thomas Cole.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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I just had, I just caught Cole.

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I thought his name was Cole.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Uh, yes,

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so, uh, last time on, uh, Joe

got, uh, got hit by a bus.

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Again.

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And, uh, woke up as, now instead

of a agent controlled by Metro

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City, he works for the Feds.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

So I want to talk about, uh, Joe Esther

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for a minute played by Joe McCaffrey.

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Right.

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Did you clock his voice in

the previous two episodes?

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

No.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Because I'm like, what

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the fuck was he doing?

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Right.

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So IMDb for a second.

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Just to look at titles, just

to see what else he was on.

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You know, he's the voice

of Max fucking Payne.

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I don't know about angels, but

it's fear that gives men wings.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

No shit.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

He's in every single Remedy game

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until he passed away two years ago.

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He's director Zachariah in, Control.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I've never played Control.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, Control's so fucking good.

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He's also in the Alan Wake games.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

never played an Alan Wake.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Man,

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

a lot of Max Payne.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

yeah, he is Max Payne.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Uh,

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I'm

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: He is

the voice of Max Payne in the video games.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

But Mark Wahlberg was in the god

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awful movie.

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Uh, that movie was bad.

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Like, I'm very forgiving.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah,

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And that movie's shit.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

we learn a handful of

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things in this scene here.

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Viper now has a jurisdiction.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yes, it is, it's gone legit.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

The feds can dispatch Viper.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Mm

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: lost

his offensive accent and gained a goatee.

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I don't recognize this show anymore.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

This is, uh,

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Dramatic casting changes.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

This is different.

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I'm excited.

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Uh, yeah, we now have, uh, So, Julian,

it seems, has more or less been replaced,

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uh, by I wrote everybody's names down.

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Uh, Ali, who is our lady lab tech.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I did not write a single name

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down for any of these characters.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

also have Cameron, who

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is our lady cop, who works

with, uh, Tom Jomike.

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Uh, thank you, Victor, for giving

us this, this, nomenclature

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that's becoming very, very useful.

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Uh, so we now have two cops on

the beat, except they're feds.

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We've got.

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Frankie, who was just

like, Hey, I don't care.

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I'll stay with the car.

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And Allie, who is our new tech person.

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But we still get our Frankie info dump

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yep,

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

where he gets to talk about,

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we got this city, this town and

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Uh, eh, no, no!

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No, no, it's, it's not

in that accent anymore.

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He speaks completely plain

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I know, but I can't,

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

this whole episode.

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Uh, I wonder if he got hit that

actually last time on Frankie got

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hit in the head and lost his accent.

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That's what happened in the season finale.

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Anyways, Frankie Infodumps is here.

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We learn the volatile liquid is some

super rocket fuel that is giving NASA

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the lead in the space race, which

ally we care about since it's: 1995

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, that's weird.

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Cause it's like, this

is even post cold war.

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It's like what space race.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah.

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Uh,

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

but we have, uh, The, the small

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desert town of Ackdiamond,

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

famous for its steep slopes.

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You give the meanest white man a

piece of cheese and he turn into Mr.

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Rogers.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And for having one man standing alone

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against the forces of some car guys, one

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sheriff, and his mustache.

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We have our

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sheriff walking through town, and all

of our people are like, Man, like,

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all the people used to come here,

and now nobody comes here, cause

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there's like four car guys, and,

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uh, they never stop revving their engines.

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And it's like, I don't

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think anybody ever came here, guys.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

heh heh heh.

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Yeah.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Like, this is Radiator Springs from Cars.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah.

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This is the middle of nowhere.

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Um, so we've got the Steven

gang, the Annihilators.

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They have their young prodigy,

uh, juice up some with one

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of their nitrous injectors.

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benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

yes.

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xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And I found myself wondering at this

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moment, uh, even if this is just

like a tablespoon of rocket fuel,

265

: 00:12:12

would it just make the car explode?

266

: 00:12:15

When ignited, like the first

time you, you injected into the

267

: 00:12:19

engine would the car just explode.

268

: 00:12:20

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Ja'far, not to cut off your

269

: 00:12:21

research, cause I want you

to tell me all your research.

270

: 00:12:24

But having done no research.

271

: 00:12:28

and knowing very little about cars

or rocket fuel, I can tell you, it

272

: 00:12:33

would make your car instantly explode.

273

: 00:12:37

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

That would be my expectation, is that

274

: 00:12:38

this would just destroy an engine

block the way they talk about it.

275

: 00:12:42

But uh, you know, the car spins

out here, don't tell me how to

276

: 00:12:45

drive, no explosions though.

277

: 00:12:47

We're saving all of those for later.

278

: 00:12:51

Um, over at the crime scene, the Viper

team uses their outside the red tape and

279

: 00:12:57

bureaucracy methods to get things done.

280

: 00:13:00

Score another point for this

being a libertarian utopia.

281

: 00:13:04

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yes, there's too much

282

: 00:13:06

paperwork and red tape.

283

: 00:13:07

We get around it.

284

: 00:13:09

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, who needs regulations?

285

: 00:13:11

Not us.

286

: 00:13:12

Huuuuuh.

287

: 00:13:16

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

and they'd go and they'd get him,

288

: 00:13:18

and it's like, Why is the bad

guy always an Italian immigrant?

289

: 00:13:21

Uh,

290

: 00:13:26

but I do love this, uh, this car guy.

291

: 00:13:28

Like, don't tell me how to drive.

292

: 00:13:30

It's like, I just put a

bomb in your car, man.

293

: 00:13:33

Like, maybe ask about it.

294

: 00:13:37

Uh, but then

295

: 00:13:38

we cut over to Cameron and Allie,

296

: 00:13:40

at the lab,

297

: 00:13:42

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Mm hmm.

298

: 00:13:45

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

to Dr.

299

: 00:13:46

Strom, and they are scanning

the tire prints and are able to

300

: 00:13:51

identify the make of the tires.

301

: 00:13:55

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, that's that possible.

302

: 00:13:58

The other thing we get later

in this episode bullshit.

303

: 00:14:01

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

You don't like the vapor detector?

304

: 00:14:04

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

No, the vape.

305

: 00:14:05

I would we'll get

306

: 00:14:07

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Okay, but I

307

: 00:14:08

do

308

: 00:14:08

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

throwaway line that made me so livid.

309

: 00:14:11

I stood up and walked

310

: 00:14:12

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

311

: 00:14:13

I do appreciate our twist on the, uh, Law

and order formula, which as we know is

312

: 00:14:21

the guy who's too busy going about his

job to stop and talk to the murder police.

313

: 00:14:25

Um, I'm sorry, uh, federal agents, I must

go and speak to this detective over here.

314

: 00:14:31

Um, I did appreciate this, uh, does

give us an idea of the world we're

315

: 00:14:36

living in where it's, uh, Hey, there's

just too many people out there.

316

: 00:14:44

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, we get a little bit here.

317

: 00:14:47

We see the Viper pulling to

town before this all happens.

318

: 00:14:50

Um, and, uh, Frankie

tries to pick a fight.

319

: 00:14:53

And then we also hear about the

jet fuel professor telling us

320

: 00:14:57

he is suspicious about his son.

321

: 00:14:59

Yes, the Viper.

322

: 00:15:01

I gave that to your son, Ben.

323

: 00:15:03

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I know, but I borrowed it for recording.

324

: 00:15:05

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, that's

325

: 00:15:06

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Wheels Viper.

326

: 00:15:07

Vroom, vroom.

327

: 00:15:08

Uh, yeah, but this is where I decided

that, uh, Frankie is only here because he

328

: 00:15:13

has one true love, and that is the Viper.

329

: 00:15:16

Uh, Tom is Joe Mike, and Julian

was like, You can't brainwash

330

: 00:15:22

this guy again, I'm out.

331

: 00:15:24

Um, and that is where Julian is.

332

: 00:15:26

He's like, One brainwashing is ok Uh,

fool me brainwash once, shame on me.

333

: 00:15:31

Fool me brainwash twice, shame on you.

334

: 00:15:36

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

The commissioner's like, can we

335

: 00:15:38

brainwash Julian into not remembering

that we've brainwashed people?

336

: 00:15:44

I want to get the one credit back.

337

: 00:15:46

We cut over to Bobby, the youngest

little annihilator, who is

338

: 00:15:50

hitting on a waitress at works.

339

: 00:15:51

Uh, like it's, uh, they seemed, my

initial note was, uh, this is a big

340

: 00:15:57

no, but then I actually put a line

through it because they seem to have

341

: 00:16:01

a relationship of some burgeoning

variety outside of this interaction.

342

: 00:16:06

And it's when she notices that he only

orders a soda and then brings him a

343

: 00:16:09

burger because he can't afford to eat,

344

: 00:16:12

that I then change my mind about this.

345

: 00:16:15

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

then we find out that

346

: 00:16:16

our waitress, uh, It is

347

: 00:16:22

Callie, it is Clarissa.

348

: 00:16:25

Yep.

349

: 00:16:26

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Did she explain it all?

350

: 00:16:33

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

She didn't explain Jack in this episode,

351

: 00:16:35

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

It's true.

352

: 00:16:37

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

she actually just seems to like anybody in

353

: 00:16:41

our car gang, regardless of how piece of

354

: 00:16:43

a shit they are.

355

: 00:16:44

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

no, no, no, no, no, no.

356

: 00:16:45

That's not what's happening.

357

: 00:16:47

She's being harassed by this

dude who's giving her a ton of

358

: 00:16:50

attention and it is not wanted.

359

: 00:16:53

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

It becomes unwanted halfway

360

: 00:16:55

through the interaction.

361

: 00:16:58

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Here's my read on all this.

362

: 00:16:59

She wants to get into the

party to hang out with Bobby.

363

: 00:17:04

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

okay, cause, it seems like

364

: 00:17:07

she was like, hitting on, uh,

uh, I thought it was Robbie.

365

: 00:17:13

Uh, Uh, but she's

366

: 00:17:15

hitting on our, our young,

our young, uh, young thief.

367

: 00:17:20

And then it's also like, I've got a

date with your boss tomorrow or tonight.

368

: 00:17:24

Like, until

369

: 00:17:25

he turned super creep, I

thought she was into it.

370

: 00:17:27

Okay.

371

: 00:17:31

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

to force things here.

372

: 00:17:33

Uh, I will just go ahead and say, uh,

the reason you know you can't trust Matt,

373

: 00:17:38

the leader of this gang, and that all of

this attention is unwanted, is because

374

: 00:17:42

there is a Venn diagram in my mind, Ben.

375

: 00:17:46

And it is, the Venn diagram, one

circle, is people who are forcing

376

: 00:17:52

themselves, and with unwanted attention.

377

: 00:17:55

And the other circle is people who

use the phrase, Sample the goods.

378

: 00:18:00

And it is a perfect circle.

379

: 00:18:05

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Unless you are like a cheesemonger or

380

: 00:18:07

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, oh, well, sample the goods

381

: 00:18:09

in reference to a sexual nature.

382

: 00:18:13

Fair.

383

: 00:18:14

A cheesemonger can ask me to sample

the goods, and I am positively

384

: 00:18:18

delighted to respond with a

385

: 00:18:20

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

you want to sample the goods

386

: 00:18:21

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yes!

387

: 00:18:22

That's why I'm here.

388

: 00:18:23

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Gouda.

389

: 00:18:23

Oh, yes,

390

: 00:18:24

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Please.

391

: 00:18:25

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I brought my lactate

392

: 00:18:28

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Heheheheheheheheheheh

393

: 00:18:28

Heheheheheheheheheheh

394

: 00:18:32

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

people who shouldn't be Allowed

395

: 00:18:34

around women and people who

get day drunk in a 50s diner

396

: 00:18:41

Because we see him later get cut off

397

: 00:18:44

from a place that doesn't

look like it serves alcohol

398

: 00:18:47

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah.

399

: 00:18:48

This guy looks like he

calls women females.

400

: 00:18:50

It's bad all around.

401

: 00:18:51

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

he is our knockoff main

402

: 00:18:53

character from Fastlane.

403

: 00:18:55

Like,

404

: 00:18:55

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Duh.

405

: 00:18:56

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

if anybody remembers the TV show Fastlane.

406

: 00:18:59

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, I thought you were just

407

: 00:19:00

talking about the WWE and Kane.

408

: 00:19:03

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

no, oh yeah.

409

: 00:19:04

Uh,

410

: 00:19:06

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Our driver, whose name I don't

411

: 00:19:09

have in my notes at this point,

412

: 00:19:10

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

uh, Tom

413

: 00:19:12

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Tom Cat, Tom Cole, uh, Tom Joe

414

: 00:19:16

Mike, uh, ends up, uh, punching

Matt here to end this harassment.

415

: 00:19:23

Uh

416

: 00:19:23

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And I just, I love that whoever wrote

417

: 00:19:28

this episode clearly thinks that

418

: 00:19:34

muscle car gangs are still as 50s.

419

: 00:19:38

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: oh.

420

: 00:19:39

Oh yeah.

421

: 00:19:39

Whoever wrote this episode has a

giant fucking boner for grease.

422

: 00:19:42

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, and it's just like,

423

: 00:19:43

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

That's actually the next

424

: 00:19:44

line in my notes because

425

: 00:19:46

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

guys were always, yeah, these

426

: 00:19:48

guys were always pieces of shit.

427

: 00:19:50

You just didn't have a car in the fifties.

428

: 00:19:56

Or didn't have a car in the

seventies while you were watching

429

: 00:19:59

Grease talking about the fifties.

430

: 00:20:02

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Uh, our sheriff sees this whole

431

: 00:20:04

thing and arrests Matt, who

while he's being arrested, agrees

432

: 00:20:11

to race the Viper for pinks.

433

: 00:20:14

Can you imagine Ben?

434

: 00:20:16

This is wild.

435

: 00:20:18

You know what's a bad idea?

436

: 00:20:22

While you're being arrested, shouting,

Oh, you, I want to commit this crime at

437

: 00:20:28

this location at this time, tomorrow.

438

: 00:20:32

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

hmm, not a good idea.

439

: 00:20:35

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

But we find out why he is so, uh,

440

: 00:20:39

so sure that this won't matter.

441

: 00:20:40

It's because we learn in the

next scene that the sheriff,

442

: 00:20:43

the sheriff, Is in on it.

443

: 00:20:44

He's the guy who's arranging

the buyer for the rocket fuel.

444

: 00:20:47

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yes, we also saw earlier that,

445

: 00:20:52

uh, the rocket fuel explodes

when introduced to water.

446

: 00:20:57

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

The team gets a lead on

447

: 00:20:59

Bobby from The Waitress.

448

: 00:21:02

And that's when we

449

: 00:21:03

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I had when the doctor calls and is

450

: 00:21:06

like, It can't be allowed near water!

451

: 00:21:08

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, okay.

452

: 00:21:11

Yeah, which, uh, How do you not know this?

453

: 00:21:15

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, this is like, Hey, what's the

454

: 00:21:18

most Like, this is, uh, Aliens from,

uh, Whatever that awful, uh, Uh, Uh, M.

455

: 00:21:28

Night Shyamalan, Hey, They Invade Earth,

But Are Allergic To Water movie is,

456

: 00:21:32

uh, Um, Yeah, this is a Signs Level Oops.

457

: 00:21:37

Um, We Almost Blew Up The

Space Shuttle If It Rains.

458

: 00:21:40

Uh,

459

: 00:21:43

The Space

460

: 00:21:43

Shuttle Went Through

461

: 00:21:44

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

through a cloud!

462

: 00:21:45

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

463

: 00:21:51

How do you not know this?

464

: 00:21:55

would think chemically that

this would be apparent.

465

: 00:21:58

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

This would be very easy, cause

466

: 00:21:59

like, we know stuff that explodes

when introduced to water.

467

: 00:22:02

If you get like a, just a block of

pure sodium, it explodes in water.

468

: 00:22:07

We know these things.

469

: 00:22:08

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Maybe it's just a liquid pure

470

: 00:22:10

sodium, and this was done by

someone who's just a fucking idiot.

471

: 00:22:14

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

It's entirely possible.

472

: 00:22:16

Uh, we also find out that

we have our smuggler, Drake.

473

: 00:22:20

And that is why we stole all

of this extra rocket fuel.

474

: 00:22:25

Using it to race is just kind of a bonus.

475

: 00:22:27

We're going to sell it all and,

Do you want to be the fastest

476

: 00:22:30

drag racer or the richest?

477

: 00:22:33

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Actually, you know what, this

478

: 00:22:34

breaks perfect fucking sense.

479

: 00:22:37

If this is truly the Libertarian

Utopia, I believe it is.

480

: 00:22:41

There's probably no safety regs.

481

: 00:22:43

There's no point in checking

any of these things.

482

: 00:22:46

And the person who's there is there

because they apparently deserve it,

483

: 00:22:53

but in actuality, how often is a

meritocracy actually a meritocracy?

484

: 00:22:58

It's probably a touch of the nepotis.

485

: 00:23:01

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah.

486

: 00:23:02

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

So Yeah, this, actually,

487

: 00:23:05

no, I, I, you know what?

488

: 00:23:06

I completely understand how

this happens in this world.

489

: 00:23:10

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh yeah, nobody checks any work.

490

: 00:23:12

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, they repealed OSHA five years ago.

491

: 00:23:15

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Frankie and Tom, Joe, Mike.

492

: 00:23:17

Ask, uh, Clarissa about

Robbie, like, Hey, I

493

: 00:23:20

heard you got, there's somebody around

here who knows how to work on engines.

494

: 00:23:23

And she's like, I don't

know anybody like that.

495

: 00:23:28

And even though they're like, we'll

pay him, the going rate, which is

496

: 00:23:32

your TV way of saying like, I have

no idea how much you pay a mechanic.

497

: 00:23:41

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

uh, after this.

498

: 00:23:43

Uh, the Sheriff, uh, sees the Viper crew

analyzing one of the cars from the heist.

499

: 00:23:48

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

hmm.

500

: 00:23:49

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And Tom, Joe, Mike here says the line

501

: 00:23:55

that made me get up and walk away.

502

: 00:23:58

Which are, Tires are like fingerprints.

503

: 00:24:00

Everyone's unique.

504

: 00:24:04

No!

505

: 00:24:05

No they are not!

506

: 00:24:08

Even, like, you make an

argument for, like, wear and

507

: 00:24:12

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

patterns are different.

508

: 00:24:13

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

The wear patterns would be

509

: 00:24:15

different on different vehicles.

510

: 00:24:18

And I guess there would be some

changes if you drove on certain

511

: 00:24:23

angled roads more often than others.

512

: 00:24:26

But that's still not going to

be unique and you sure as shit.

513

: 00:24:32

Aren't going to be able

to get that level of like,

514

: 00:24:36

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Like if you had, if you could get

515

: 00:24:38

to the car immediately after it left

the imprint on the road and scan it.

516

: 00:24:43

You might be able to, but

517

: 00:24:44

after it drives away for

a while, probably not.

518

: 00:24:47

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

well, even then it's just

519

: 00:24:48

like the grooves, right?

520

: 00:24:50

Like, even like if you get like a

3d print of the outside of the tire.

521

: 00:24:54

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah, but you

522

: 00:24:55

might

523

: 00:24:55

be able to be like, Hey, I see like these

18 different nicks because you ran over

524

: 00:25:00

this, you know, this rock and that, that

525

: 00:25:03

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

well, that will be on the tire, but

526

: 00:25:05

that wouldn't be on the burnout, because

the whole point of the burnout that

527

: 00:25:10

they're analyzing is the tire's spun.

528

: 00:25:13

It fills it all in.

529

: 00:25:14

It's melted rubber.

530

: 00:25:15

That's the whole thing.

531

: 00:25:18

It's flat and straight line.

532

: 00:25:21

There are no nicks.

533

: 00:25:22

It's just, it's so dumb, Ben.

534

: 00:25:24

It's so fucking dumb.

535

: 00:25:26

It's so dumb.

536

: 00:25:28

Oh, it's so dumb, it's brilliant.

537

: 00:25:30

No!

538

: 00:25:32

It's just dumb!

539

: 00:25:33

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

you mean brilliant.

540

: 00:25:34

You're fair.

541

: 00:25:35

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I don't.

542

: 00:25:36

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

It is the

543

: 00:25:37

greatest TV show

544

: 00:25:37

At this point, Frankie is like, Don't call

in backup, but bring me my challenger.

545

: 00:25:43

At this point.

546

: 00:25:43

Did you think?

547

: 00:25:44

Oh, we have a second Viper.

548

: 00:25:47

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: no,

549

: 00:25:47

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, I was,

550

: 00:25:48

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

no way,

551

: 00:25:50

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I was hoping Tag Team back in.

552

: 00:25:54

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

not, not Frankie.

553

: 00:25:56

No way.

554

: 00:25:58

Maybe

555

: 00:25:59

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

find out that they have

556

: 00:26:00

a Viper Vapor Analyzer.

557

: 00:26:03

Uh, which I'm very excited to see.

558

: 00:26:06

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

The vapor analyzer.

559

: 00:26:10

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

We also find out now, uh, Clarissa is

560

: 00:26:12

talking to Robbie and she's like, They

don't pay you, you sleep on their garage.

561

: 00:26:19

Why are you here, man?

562

: 00:26:22

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

all of this goes down and, uh,

563

: 00:26:26

it's now time to do the drag race.

564

: 00:26:29

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, before we get to there though,

565

: 00:26:31

for some reason our sheriff

sends our gang leader Matt to

566

: 00:26:37

Show our smuggler the goods.

567

: 00:26:40

At which point Matt is instantly like,

how about we cut the sheriff out and

568

: 00:26:44

just do a deal, you know, just ourselves.

569

: 00:26:47

And it's just

570

: 00:26:48

like, if I'm the sheriff.

571

: 00:26:50

Why am I sending this dipshit out

there to, to, uh, to meet this guy,

572

: 00:26:55

especially learning what we learn later?

573

: 00:26:58

And, if I'm the smuggler, why am I

instantly not like, Okay, I shoot

574

: 00:27:07

you and leave you in the desert.

575

: 00:27:10

You're

576

: 00:27:11

clearly too stupid to be involved in this.

577

: 00:27:14

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

right.

578

: 00:27:16

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

But then, yes, we do get to the

579

: 00:27:18

saddest car show in the desert.

580

: 00:27:20

It's time for a drag race.

581

: 00:27:22

Must be jelly, cause jam don't shake.

582

: 00:27:24

Spread that jelly.

583

: 00:27:25

Spread it good.

584

: 00:27:27

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Are you

585

: 00:27:27

smizing?

586

: 00:27:27

I hope you're smizing.

587

: 00:27:30

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

confirms their suspicions

588

: 00:27:30

about the annihilators here.

589

: 00:27:34

And we see some water splash on the rocket

fuel in the engine, which in turn makes

590

: 00:27:39

the car explode incredibly violently.

591

: 00:27:43

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

because, uh, Tom Jomike

592

: 00:27:46

can't just race Matt.

593

: 00:27:47

He has to beat Miko.

594

: 00:27:49

And, uh, our guy who we saw drive

with the rocket fuel earlier.

595

: 00:27:53

And if you can beat

Miko, then maybe you can

596

: 00:27:55

race me.

597

: 00:27:56

And it's just like, I didn't realize

we had, like, belts or whatever.

598

: 00:28:03

Just, just race.

599

: 00:28:05

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Stages.

600

: 00:28:09

Yeah, so the car explodes.

601

: 00:28:11

Uh, the uh, Tom Joe Mike here goes

after Bobby who starts to like,

602

: 00:28:18

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

He immediately just starts

603

: 00:28:19

running, and it's like, you're in

604

: 00:28:20

the middle of nowhere.

605

: 00:28:23

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Uh,

and while all this is going on, most of

606

: 00:28:25

the Viper crew gets got by the sheriff.

607

: 00:28:28

Uh, and it's just like, oh, the police are

so corrupt, we should privatize them all.

608

: 00:28:34

Like Viper.

609

: 00:28:35

Brought to you by Dodge.

610

: 00:28:38

Uh, the gang, uh, takes the crew to jail.

611

: 00:28:42

The sheriff confronts Matt

about his attempt at double

612

: 00:28:45

cross and gets killed for it.

613

: 00:28:47

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yes, instantly.

614

: 00:28:51

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Uh,

the crew discuss trying to escape jail.

615

: 00:28:56

If only they had Pete

from Briscoe County, Jr.

616

: 00:28:58

with them.

617

: 00:28:59

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Pete

618

: 00:29:00

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

his jail expertise

619

: 00:29:02

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yes.

620

: 00:29:05

Oh, Pete would fit right in in this show.

621

: 00:29:07

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

He would.

622

: 00:29:10

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

You know what I would love?

623

: 00:29:11

Is just a My Dinner with Andre.

624

: 00:29:15

Except it's Pete talking

about Pete's piece, and Frank

625

: 00:29:19

talking about his challenger.

626

: 00:29:22

And it's just like, two guys

with great facial hair talking

627

: 00:29:27

about the things they love.

628

: 00:29:30

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Anyways, uh, from the jail cell,

629

: 00:29:33

the team goads Matt into the race.

630

: 00:29:36

He gets Bobby to convert his car

to run exclusively off of rocket

631

: 00:29:41

fuel so he can beat the Viper.

632

: 00:29:44

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

But also they have, and this is how

633

: 00:29:46

you know they're evil, they have been

disparaging the Viper the entire time.

634

: 00:29:50

And it's just like, it's a

much nicer, newer car than the

635

: 00:29:56

cars you're driving around.

636

: 00:29:57

Uh, but also, this guy has the emotional

intelligence of like, A 7th grader?

637

: 00:30:04

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, for sure.

638

: 00:30:05

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

They're just able to goad him in

639

: 00:30:07

just being like, Hey, you're afraid.

640

: 00:30:08

You can't do this.

641

: 00:30:09

It's like, I'm going to murder you.

642

: 00:30:12

It's like, yeah, but I'm faster than you.

643

: 00:30:15

Who gives a shit?

644

: 00:30:16

I'm going to murder you.

645

: 00:30:18

Yeah, but I can drive a car real good.

646

: 00:30:21

No, you can't.

647

: 00:30:22

Yeah,

648

: 00:30:26

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

embodiment of calling people

649

: 00:30:28

chicken in Back to the Future.

650

: 00:30:31

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

this isn't peaked in high school energy,

651

: 00:30:33

this is peaked in middle school energy.

652

: 00:30:35

Like, hey, sorry, you had your

growth spurt first, you didn't

653

: 00:30:40

end up the tallest kid in class.

654

: 00:30:45

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

At the race we learn Bobby modified

655

: 00:30:47

the Viper to also use rocket fuel.

656

: 00:30:51

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

which, this also made me mad that

657

: 00:30:52

we get a scene where they have, the

bad guys, have stolen the viper.

658

: 00:30:57

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah.

659

: 00:30:57

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

They are able to open it,

660

: 00:31:01

which I would have imagined immediately,

like, Had the scene been like, We

661

: 00:31:05

can't even pop the hood on this thing!

662

: 00:31:07

Like, I don't know what's going on!

663

: 00:31:08

I would've been like, That tracks.

664

: 00:31:10

But they somehow get it open, and they're

just like, There's some extra computer

665

: 00:31:13

stuff in here, but I don't know, like,

It just looks like a stock Viper.

666

: 00:31:16

And I'm like, It should not

look like a stock Viper.

667

: 00:31:21

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: How

on earth does it look like a stock Viper?

668

: 00:31:23

We literally see panels flip

out of it in this episode.

669

: 00:31:26

The transformation sequence has changed

to be more realistic, less nanomachines y,

670

: 00:31:35

less Iron Man y, more possible, I suppose.

671

: 00:31:38

I don't know.

672

: 00:31:40

Anyways, the drag race.

673

: 00:31:42

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Well, except it's not a drag race.

674

: 00:31:44

They, uh, it's a five mile race with

no road signs or indicators anywhere.

675

: 00:31:51

There's no road signs anywhere!

676

: 00:31:53

So I fully expected Tom Joe Mike

to just be like, I don't know,

677

: 00:31:56

do I turn left or right here?

678

: 00:31:58

Like, where do I go?

679

: 00:32:00

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah.

680

: 00:32:00

If you get in the lead,

you don't know the route.

681

: 00:32:02

You're kind of fucked.

682

: 00:32:04

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Uh, but our bad guy Matt does

683

: 00:32:06

say like, And if you try to

run, I got machine guns here.

684

: 00:32:11

And Ja'far?

685

: 00:32:13

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah,

686

: 00:32:13

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

These are just garden variety

687

: 00:32:17

race car driving assholes.

688

: 00:32:20

At no point are they like,

And they work for the outfit.

689

: 00:32:23

Or Matt's, uh, Matt's uncle

secretly is this big bad honcho guy.

690

: 00:32:28

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah,

that's how you know Tom is not Joe Mike.

691

: 00:32:32

It's because no one from

his past is involved in this

692

: 00:32:35

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

nobody instantly recognizes him

693

: 00:32:37

and like you, son of a bitch,

694

: 00:32:42

Jair, they've got their hands

on four machine guns that they

695

: 00:32:47

have implanted in these cars.

696

: 00:32:49

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And a monster truck.

697

: 00:32:50

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

What happened Her?

698

: 00:32:53

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Um,

so we know this is Libertarian Utopia.

699

: 00:32:57

I feel like I've well

established this fact.

700

: 00:32:59

Um, you just got them

at the gun show, Ben.

701

: 00:33:02

There's no background check laws.

702

: 00:33:04

Well, you don't need those.

703

: 00:33:07

You just roll in and buy them.

704

: 00:33:08

You know, it's a cash only transaction.

705

: 00:33:10

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Are you saying in the world of Viper, you

706

: 00:33:14

saying machine guns are legal or are you

707

: 00:33:17

saying machine gun car?

708

: 00:33:22

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yes.

709

: 00:33:23

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Alright, I like it.

710

: 00:33:27

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I think Viper might actually

711

: 00:33:28

be a Twisted Metal prequel.

712

: 00:33:32

Without knowing anything about

the world of Twisted Metal.

713

: 00:33:37

I think it's in a post apocalypse?

714

: 00:33:40

I don't know.

715

: 00:33:41

I should watch that TV show at some point.

716

: 00:33:43

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

we do have Robby who is just like freaking

717

: 00:33:45

out as this race is about to start.

718

: 00:33:47

And Matt is like, hey don't worry

about it, cause I've also got Clarissa.

719

: 00:33:51

And if anything happens, I'll shoot her.

720

: 00:33:54

And he turns his gun sideways,

so you know he means it.

721

: 00:33:58

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

It's true.

722

: 00:34:00

Uh, so, this race starts, the Viper is

having some problems, it can't transform.

723

: 00:34:07

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Because, Robby shot jet rocket

724

: 00:34:11

fuel, in it.

725

: 00:34:12

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: yeah.

726

: 00:34:13

Uh, and so, uh, it starts to win

anyways, because it's the Viper.

727

: 00:34:17

So Matt opens fire, and

he takes out a tire?

728

: 00:34:22

Which causes the Viper to spin out?

729

: 00:34:24

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And Tom Joe Mike is unconscious.

730

: 00:34:27

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah.

731

: 00:34:28

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And instead of killing him,

732

: 00:34:30

Matt is just like, I win.

733

: 00:34:33

And it's like, but you

lost, you had to shoot him.

734

: 00:34:36

You had to cheat.

735

: 00:34:39

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

No, I mean, he still wins, right?

736

: 00:34:40

He finishes the race.

737

: 00:34:42

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

But at this point, uh,

738

: 00:34:44

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

The town folk raid the

739

: 00:34:46

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yeah.

740

: 00:34:47

It's just like, the bad guys have

taken over the Sheriff's office.

741

: 00:34:51

And it's like, did nobody

hear the Sheriff get murdered?

742

: 00:34:54

Like it's a small town.

743

: 00:34:57

He was just out back.

744

: 00:34:59

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

it's, I mean, they're a bunch

745

: 00:35:00

of good guys with guns, Ben.

746

: 00:35:02

And they take back the sheriff's

office, even though none

747

: 00:35:06

of those people have guns.

748

: 00:35:08

They pull guns on them.

749

: 00:35:11

Uh, yeah, makes it a

750

: 00:35:17

Anyways,

751

: 00:35:20

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

dream here.

752

: 00:35:22

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

eventually the Viper transforms,

753

: 00:35:24

Cole pulls ahead, Matt, attacks

the Viper to his own demise

754

: 00:35:29

as his GTO flips and explodes,

755

: 00:35:32

Now you fucked up!

756

: 00:35:34

Now you fucked up!

757

: 00:35:35

Now you fucked up!

758

: 00:35:36

Now you fucked up!

759

: 00:35:38

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Is important.

760

: 00:35:39

So Tom, Joe, Mike is blocking the road.

761

: 00:35:42

Matt is shooting at him and

Tom, Joe, Mike, not an asshole.

762

: 00:35:47

Like, Hey, he's not stopping.

763

: 00:35:49

Backs up.

764

: 00:35:50

And because Matt insists on still

driving full, you know, full

765

: 00:35:55

speed flips it off and explodes.

766

: 00:35:58

So it's very important to note.

767

: 00:36:01

Tom, Joe, Mike did not do this.

768

: 00:36:03

If Matt had simply slowed down or stopped,

he would not have exploded and died.

769

: 00:36:10

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

yeah, no, it's, uh, it's Matt's own

770

: 00:36:12

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

he was hoisted on his own Picard.

771

: 00:36:16

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

petard, oh,

772

: 00:36:19

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh, I thought I saw a bald guy kill him.

773

: 00:36:21

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

oh no, no, he did it himself,

774

: 00:36:24

um, uh, So yeah, uh, this pretty

much wraps up the episode.

775

: 00:36:27

We get a little bit here where

Bobby's arrested that he'll probably

776

: 00:36:31

be treated a leniency, uh, because

he's been so cooperative with the

777

: 00:36:37

Viper people who are feds now,

778

: 00:36:48

how does his dad get to keep his

top secret clearance or whatever?

779

: 00:36:53

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Well, also, one of the things we kind

780

: 00:36:54

of glossed over in this episode is, uh,

This is a top secret, only one person

781

: 00:37:01

knows about this super rocket fuel, like,

782

: 00:37:04

even the rest of the

people who work with Dr.

783

: 00:37:06

Strom do not fully understand

what they've got here.

784

: 00:37:11

And yet he goes home and blabs it in

a way that his son is able to not only

785

: 00:37:17

completely understand the nature of

this rocket fuel, but to be able to be

786

: 00:37:23

like, And I can modify a car to use it.

787

: 00:37:29

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah.

788

: 00:37:29

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Like, if I am the feds,

789

: 00:37:33

Robby is not going to jail.

790

: 00:37:36

Robby is not going to juvie.

791

: 00:37:39

Robby is going to a secret government

black site where I'm just like,

792

: 00:37:42

Okay, Robby, like, you're working

for, like, Libertarian DARPA.

793

: 00:37:50

Like, what you got, man?

794

: 00:37:52

You want to work on cars in your off time?

795

: 00:37:53

I don't give a shit.

796

: 00:37:54

Like, you just made a

car run on rocket fuel.

797

: 00:37:57

Like, go to town, my dude.

798

: 00:38:01

And Frankie does tell

him, Hey, stay in school.

799

: 00:38:04

Maybe you can be a mechanic.

800

: 00:38:06

He's like, I made a car run

on rocket fuel, Frankie.

801

: 00:38:12

I'm not going to be a fucking mechanic.

802

: 00:38:17

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

That's the episode.

803

: 00:38:20

We did it.

804

: 00:38:21

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Yes, we did.

805

: 00:38:23

Greatest

806

: 00:38:23

TV show ever made.

807

: 00:38:25

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I'm going to roll some dice here.

808

: 00:38:28

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Rollo, Rollo, Rollo.

809

: 00:38:31

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

If I can get them out of

810

: 00:38:32

the fucking dice trade here.

811

: 00:38:36

Ooh, that's a high

812

: 00:38:38

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

No, I don't believe you.

813

: 00:38:40

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: 15.

814

: 00:38:42

Out of 16 possible on 44, which means

we're skipping ahead to season three,

815

: 00:38:50

episode five out from oblivion.

816

: 00:38:57

When Cole, uh, discovers an old CIA buddy

living on the streets, he's again led

817

: 00:39:04

into a world of espionage and intrigue.

818

: 00:39:09

All right.

819

: 00:39:10

Well, that's.

820

: 00:39:11

Nondescript, but I guess it tells us

that Cole was a CIA agent at one time.

821

: 00:39:18

Or was he?

822

: 00:39:20

Uh, I don't know.

823

: 00:39:21

Why don't we, uh, why don't we

make some predictions about that?

824

: 00:39:24

Lincoln, what are you doing up there?

825

: 00:39:27

Guessing.

826

: 00:39:29

I guess no one's coming.

827

: 00:39:32

I have seen into the future.

828

: 00:39:34

You ruined the prophecy.

829

: 00:39:36

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I'm ready to go.

830

: 00:39:37

I got my daytime, my daytime prediction.

831

: 00:39:40

We never see Mike Joe again.

832

: 00:39:44

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

It's possible.

833

: 00:39:46

Especially with that role.

834

: 00:39:48

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

My evening prediction.

835

: 00:39:50

We never see Julian again.

836

: 00:39:55

And my primetime prediction.

837

: 00:39:57

I actually don't feel that great

about my daytime prediction.

838

: 00:40:00

We do see Mike Joe again.

839

: 00:40:04

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Hedging your bets there, Jaffar.

840

: 00:40:07

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yep!

841

: 00:40:10

I figure there's no way I get five.

842

: 00:40:12

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

That's true.

843

: 00:40:13

Well, depending on if we're able

to find any kind of recap on this,

844

: 00:40:20

it's going to be a little tricky.

845

: 00:40:22

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

this is, we never see.

846

: 00:40:24

This is episodes that we.

847

: 00:40:27

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I mean, if, but as we've established

848

: 00:40:30

canonically, Tom is Joe Mike,

so we're going to see him again.

849

: 00:40:34

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I'm, this is operating under the

850

: 00:40:36

presumption that Tom is not Joe

851

: 00:40:38

Mike.

852

: 00:40:39

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

dare you?

853

: 00:40:41

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I guess if Tom is Joe Mike,

854

: 00:40:44

then one, I want an explanation,

but two, I get my three points.

855

: 00:40:48

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

I just want, our Amon in Undiscovered

856

: 00:40:51

Country, where Tom and Joe Mike

are together, and then they kiss.

857

: 00:40:56

Yes.

858

: 00:40:59

So

859

: 00:41:00

my,

860

: 00:41:00

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

got some predictions?

861

: 00:41:01

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

my daytime prediction is the

862

: 00:41:03

Viper gets captured again.

863

: 00:41:06

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

Oh yeah.

864

: 00:41:07

Are we going to see the Viper get

865

: 00:41:08

captured?

866

: 00:41:09

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

some random dipshits get it and

867

: 00:41:11

do not know what they've got.

868

: 00:41:13

Uh, my evening prediction is we have two

more gangs with inexplicable gadgets.

869

: 00:41:20

because we've now had, out of our three

episodes, we've had, uh, our Highwaymen

870

: 00:41:27

from the first episode, and they're

attached to The Outfit, the greatest,

871

: 00:41:31

you know, criminal enterprise in America.

872

: 00:41:34

But since then we have had two groups

of just random unaffiliated dipshits.

873

: 00:41:40

With crazy tech.

874

: 00:41:43

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234: Yeah.

875

: 00:41:44

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And, uh, my primetime, very similar to

876

: 00:41:47

yours, some of our old cast show up again.

877

: 00:41:51

We see either Julian or Joe again.

878

: 00:41:55

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

All right, well that's that.

879

: 00:41:58

Um, I guess we may as well

just, uh, say some thank yous.

880

: 00:42:02

hey R.

881

: 00:42:02

I.

882

: 00:42:02

P.

883

: 00:42:03

E.

884

: 00:42:03

They got a couple shows announced right

now, a couple February, a couple May

885

: 00:42:07

in Brooklyn, Massachusetts and Texas.

886

: 00:42:10

Uh, go check them out

if you're in that area.

887

: 00:42:12

Uh, they're fucking great.

888

: 00:42:14

Go listen to Ripe.

889

: 00:42:15

Thanks so much for letting us use

890

: 00:42:16

Goon Squad.

891

: 00:42:17

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

5 star review anywhere you,,

892

: 00:42:19

listen to your podcast.

893

: 00:42:20

It really, really helps.

894

: 00:42:22

Share some of these episodes.

895

: 00:42:23

Hey, let everybody know that the

Gospel of Viper is being spread.

896

: 00:42:28

And if you don't enjoy the show,

well, just DM that to Victor.

897

: 00:42:33

xhafer--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

we don't want to hear it.

898

: 00:42:35

benjamin-david-curley--he-him-_1_02-02-2025_213234:

And we will see you next

899

: 00:42:36

time on Last Time On.

900

: 00:42:57

And I am Victor.

901

: 00:42:59

Hey, I'm Victor.

902

: 00:43:01

Victor being Victor.

903

: 00:43:02

I'm in, I'm in Texas.