Episode 5

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Published on:

3rd Oct 2023

Into The Badlands S3E7 - Chekhov's narwhal

It's time for Last Time On, the podcast for everyone who wants to watch all of that prestige television, but who has time for that? Our hosts don't, so they take the randomized highway down your favorite shows they haven't seen, and try to guess what happened Last Time On!

Join us as Ben and Xhafer save their best bit for after the credits this time.

Transcript
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Hello, and welcome to Last Time On.

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This is the podcast for people who

want to watch all this prestige

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television, but who has time for all

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this?

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Track 2_001: I know I don't.

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Track 1_001: I'm Jafar.

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Track 2_001: And I am Ben.

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Track 1_001: And we are

watching Into the Badlands.

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We skipped six episodes here.

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We've got Season 3, Episode 7.

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Track 2_001: Last Dance.

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Track 1_001: We are quickly

approaching the end of this show.

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I know.

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It doesn't seem like it.

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We Exactly.

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We have, we could possibly

roll the season finale.

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Like if we roll a Max dice roll at

the end of this episode, we will

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be at the season the series finale.

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, otherwise whatever we roll, we'll do that.

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And then theoretically, if we

roll real low, there could be.

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Another three or four

episodes, but we're in range.

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We're in striking distance of that finale.

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So I've got to ask Ben, how

do you feel about this show?

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Track 2_001: I am.

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I want to go back and watch it all.

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Yeah.

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I have, I am, I am loving this show.

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Track 1_001: Okay.

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Track 2_001: I know, , it's

not everybody's cup of tea.

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But, weird, you know, plot machinations,

and betrayals, and intrigue, and everybody

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giving themselves cool nicknames.

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But also being aware that everybody

is giving themselves nicknames.

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Like, this show is self important

and self aware at the same time,

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and I do very much enjoy that.

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,

Track 1_001: That's your speed.

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Track 2_001: and, I've enjoyed seeing,

, Seeing action on the level of this show,

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because it's easy to compare it to movies

where, hey, it's never going to be quite

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up to the same standard as a, you know,

a Hong Kong action flick or something.

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But I have watched enough

terrible action shows.

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Track 1_001: Yeah, I almost made one.

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Track 2_001: I,

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, back at, , Central Michigan.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Track 1_001: Yeah.

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, , , I spent a year as a film student

when I was not sure what I was going

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to do with my life after deciding

it wasn't going to be computers.

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, funny how that ended up working out.

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, but, , yeah, I had spent a year

as a film student and in that

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year I pitched a television show.

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, that was going to be a action TV

show and basically just got told

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that it was impossible and that

not even, not even to bother.

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Track 2_001: Yeah, we, we cannot

budget for a blank, let alone

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Track 1_001: Well, there

was even no budgeting.

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Like, all that stuff was you get students,

you scrounge up whatever you can.

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You have access to the

things the department has.

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And that's

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Track 2_001: like the insurance

will not cover this if some

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kid gets punched in the face?

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, Track 1_001: there was probably an

insurance concern, but it did not make it

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far enough to have that presented to me.

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It was just a steadfast no.

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, but I did, yeah, I pitched a TV show

based off the, , tabletop RPG, Spycraft.

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It was going to have some

action sequences in it.

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Track 2_001: in it.

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Track 1_001: I am familiar with Chuck.

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I have seen maybe a half

dozen episodes of Chuck.

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Track 2_001: So Chuck is a

spy show that as the series

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progressed, got cheaper and cheaper,

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And there were always spy action

antics, but there were times where

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you could tell we do not have

the time to actually choreograph

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something to make this look good.

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Track 1_001: Yeah,

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Track 2_001: even on a show

with, I'm sure, hey, network

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television, it's a bigger budget.

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you didn't get fights that

looked anywhere near this good.

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Track 1_001: Yeah

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Track 2_001: we've seen...

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I mean, you've seen plenty of Star

Trek episodes where there's quote

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unquote action, and it's terrible.

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Track 1_001: Yeah

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Track 2_001: it is, phasers hit

when the plot says they should, and

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miss when they say they shouldn't.

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, you get, , you know, there are TV shows with just absolute terrible

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action, and this is well above that

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Track 1_001: Our biggest concern

when we were looking at trying to do

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any kind of fight scene choreography

at all is camera placement.

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Like, they've got the rigs,

they've got overhead cams,

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they've got stuff like that.

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Like, when we were trying to plot

out how we could go about shooting

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Action sequences and stuff.

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We were always all like, well, if we

shoot it in this lobby, there is a walkway

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where we can put a camera, you know,

put a guy with a camera up top there to

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catch stuff that will be out of sight.

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And also give us a thing to cut

to, or a different view and stuff.

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, and a lot of that was like, we tried

to combat it, not through budget, but

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through scouting, location scouting.

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, but I obviously never came to fruition.

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Track 2_001: never came to fruition.

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So, short story long, I am, I am

enjoying this, I am taking into, deep

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appreciation the level of the fights,

how intricate the story has been, and

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I think more than anything, I have

been just loving the art direction

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Track 1_001: They definitely have made

some choices for our direction into the

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world building, and I do appreciate.

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Track 2_001: Oh yeah.

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And everybody has clearly made a choice.

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Mm-hmm.

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So all of the characters have

found anesthetic and made

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it, everyone else's problem.

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but it's, it's good to see that it's

not just, You are a baron, you wear X.

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You are a, uh, soldier, you wear Y.

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It's all of, every time they run into,

you know, some interesting character along

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the way, they're unique and different.

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Track 1_001: Yeah, I mean, we get

a lot of uniforms with the army

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clipper people, besides that, yeah.

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Well, speaking of militaries and armies.

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Track 2_001: Yes, we open

in media plotting map.

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Track 1_001: Yep, Minerva's War Council.

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And the war is at a standstill.

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We see Lydia.

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We've got Nathaniel Moon all cleaned up.

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Track 2_001: A.

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k a silver moon.

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Still pretty sure he is a werewolf.

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Track 1_001: And, , someone

I don't recognize.

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Gaius.

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Track 2_001: Yes.

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, Track 1_001: not a Baltar.

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, but they were talking about a sneak

attack to overwhelm some forces.

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It's just generic, like, oh, well, we

can't break through, but if we pull

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all of our defenses and attack in

one place, maybe we can, and it's all

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like, but that leaves all of your other

places undefended, which means that

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there's probably active combat there,

otherwise you wouldn't be defending them.

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It's just like, I don't understand

how you think this is a tactic.

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Track 2_001: Well, also we see

the, the line of co of, you know,

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combat and violence is cutting

through from the north to the west.

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And part of it, she says, well pull

everybody from the south and the east.

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And I'm like, why do you have guys there?

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you don't need anyone.

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shit.

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Track 1_001: You don't have to

have, unless you've, I guess

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you might have, , peacekeeping

slash , pacifying forces there.

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Fair, depending on the

moods of the locals.

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Yeah.

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That are being subjugated, although her

whole thing is freedom anyway, so...

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Track 2_001: Uh,

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Track 1_001: yeah.

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yeah.

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It's hard to say, just like, Oh,

we'll just pull our dudes who

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aren't fighting and make them fight.

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It's all like, yeah, that's called war.

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Congratulations, you figured it out.

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Track 2_001: Grand strategy,

war tactics that you can get

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in 15 seconds of dialogue.

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so it is, you know, I'm not expecting

like a documentary here, uh, ma

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Dearest Clarabelle, the widow has

declared we shall march to the front.

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A fear we will expire.

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You know,

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Track 1_001: Also, if my map

notes are correct, we're talking

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about moving people across states.

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And they might have buses?

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Every bus I feel like

we've seen has been...

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We there's a couple troop transports

we've seen around so they've got some

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stuff But I don't know how reliable

any of that is and also there's

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supply line issues and stuff like

Logistics make a war these days.

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I can only imagine what it's like when

you don't have the Nearly the supply

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Track 2_001: Medieval style

battles where people are marching

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around with wagons and swords.

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The numbers are so much

smaller than you think.

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unless you are in a place where

they have that stuff figured out.

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, so when you're dealing with,

you know, like the Roman

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Empire, the armies get bigger.

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Or if you're dealing with

China, where there's just...

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So many more people.

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It's, , easier to have, you

know, a war with 200, 000 people.

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Track 1_001: But, yeah,

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Track 2_001: yeah, most of, like,

the great battles of European

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history are a few thousand guys.

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Track 1_001: Moon leaves as the Petticoat

assassins get up to some bullshit.

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Gassing and capturing

Gaius and Minerva to theme.

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Track 2_001: Yeah.

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uh, so Lydia had been chasing Moon,

saying, Hey, you know, we gotta stop

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this, we've gotta do an armistice.

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And, and just as they

leave, , a, a mutiny begins.

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Track 1_001: Yeah, and

we get all that to Thiem.

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Back from Thiem, Sunny has

captured some guy at a river.

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We find out much later in the

episode his name is River King.

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Track 2_001: Yes,

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he is the River King.

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, Track 1_001: sweet title.

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Yes.

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Track 2_001: we find out Sonny is looking for the pilgrim.

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Track 1_001: Yeah.

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We, we know he's a zealot.

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I immediately assume that this is

the guy with the two gifted people at

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Track 2_001: the

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he says, he says, he is the pilgrim

in the end of the last episode.

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Track 1_001: Yeah.

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So, we find out that the

pilgrim is looking for Ara.

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Track 2_001: Yes.

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And Sonny wants a boat.

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Track 1_001: Yep.

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And then we see Badgie, Henry, and Lily.

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Yes.

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Who has a boat, a history with

Badgie, and a hit show on Disney

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Track 2_001: Who is Lily?

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, Track 1_001: Sophia

DiMartino, most famously Loki.

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Track 2_001: She is, that's right.

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Track 1_001: I ID'ed her immediately.

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I was like, I don't

need IMDB for this one.

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I got

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Track 2_001: this.

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I

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did not recognize her,

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So, similar to what you said, I

wrote, they have, all caps, HISTORY.

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Track 1_001: Ben, I wonder

what this history is.

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Could you possibly tell me?

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W her,

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Track 2_001: I can tell you a wahabaha.

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So, As I have previously predicted,

Badgie came over on a boat.

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We now found a person who has a boat.

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Lily was the person who

sailed, , Badgie over from England.

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And during the trip, they

fell in love, and, , you know,

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everything was going smoothly.

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Until Badgie got around other

people, whom he could start conning.

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It's really easy to be charming

when you're alone with someone.

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, when you get to port and you start,

, coming up with ways of scamming everybody

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and trying to win one over, hey, sometimes

that leaves the other people you're here

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with in the lurch, and that's not good.

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Especially when that's

your, , your significant other.

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So, , well, Lily is endeared to Badgie

and will never forget the time they had.

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She will also never forget all

of the many, , Difficulties

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and, , conundrums she brought to

her door while they were together.

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Track 1_001: Alright.

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Track 2_001: So we cut back to inside where we find out that

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There

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is only one boat in the Badlands.

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And Sonny was on that

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boat.

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Track 1_001: Yes.

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Sonny was on this boat as a child

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Track 2_001: and everyone

but the captain got, got

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Track 1_001: Yep.

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Well, and Sonny and the captain we find

, River King makes a deal of some sort,

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I'm guessing that most of this deal was

last episode, because he just talked

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about honoring his deal, and lays some

new terms down, to allow Sunnytime to go

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investigate his disappearance as a child?

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Track 2_001: How much

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of

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Track 1_001: How much of

Sonny's past do you think we've

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missed in previous episodes?

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By skipping I, this feels like something

that they haven't explored much here.

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Mm-hmm.

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, and I don't know if that's actually true,

if you got that vibe as well or not.

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Track 2_001: that's actually true, if

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you got that vibe as well.

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Okay.

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All these people is dead except for the

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Track 1_001: Every last one of

these people is dead, except for

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the one dude who held onto life long

enough to explain what happened.

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Track 2_001: Hey, it was butterflies

and bowler hats and silver moon's like,

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but we wear butterflies and bowler hats.

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Track 1_001: Mm-hmm.

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Track 2_001: Betrayal.

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Track 1_001: Yeah.

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We learned the attack was

led by Ren and Arthur.

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Track 2_001: Yes.

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Track 1_001: And the Widow and

Gaius are in MK's conveniently

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well lit and plush salad club fed.

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These are rank and file soldiers

who we have not met before.

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Track 2_001: That is what it seems

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Track 1_001: At the very least,

our characters are unaware of them.

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Track 2_001: I do have a feeling

it does feel to me like Ren has

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been here for an episode or two.

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Track 1_001: Yeah.

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Track 2_001: is my, I'm going to

say last time on Ren has actually

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been around in the background and

this is now the turn where Yeah.

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Hey, why is that extra getting

a little more time than normal?

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Track 1_001: Yeah.

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It makes sense that we

would see her around a bit.

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She even talks about having been there

for the last couple of , and observing.

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Track 2_001: Yeah.

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So apparently everyone is getting

real tired of the widow becoming

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very, becoming more barony.

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Track 1_001: Mm-hmm.

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Track 2_001: Mm-hmm.

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and hey, you've become the

thing you swore to destroy.

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And

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this is feeling, I don't know about you.

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, this is feeling very quick for me.

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like it.

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I don't think that much time has passed.

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We

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know there has to be a reason

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why Tilda left, why, why, you know,

there is some fraction among, uh,

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there's

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a fracture among the Widow's family,

but it feels real quick for there

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to have been a real strong dissent.

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But while, uh, while they are talking...

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Arthur makes the number one mistake

of having somebody in a cage

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and gets too close to the cage.

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At which point Gaius tries

to grab him and crossbow!

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Track 1_001: Yep, right into his shoulder.

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Bad day.

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Track 2_001: Mm

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, Track 1_001: after this, we go over

to the Pilgrim's Camp, where we

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find one of his lieutenants, who

was, , one of the people we saw on the

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scaffolding and the season premiere.

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Caster is dead.

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We see MK has joined him.

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Track 2_001: Yes.

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Track 1_001: And Caster

gets the funeral pyre.

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, before he's burned, a

viewfinder is placed with him.

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Track 2_001: Yes.

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, , his assassin partner, , we learned

their name is Nicks, , places a

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viewfinder, which cool to see.

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Viewfinders made it

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Track 1_001: I have to feel that this

is a religious relic knowing nothing

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about their religion and knowing

Viewfinders, Ben, if the viewfinder

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is central to this religion as I'm

proposing, let's get weird with it.

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What do you think that viewfinder was of?

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Track 2_001: Well, J Fair, I can tell

you exactly what that viewfinder is of

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because I had a viewfinder, and you know

what, the only viewfinder wheels I had

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were Oh goodness, no, Sesame Street.

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And so that is why this whole

religion is built around the

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idea that we live and we die.

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But there is a monster

at the end of this book.

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And no matter what you do to try and

stop the pages of fate turning, there

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is a monster at the end of this book.

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And the pages turn, regardless

of the ropes, and the brick

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walls, and the hammers and nails.

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Because there's a monster at

the end of this book, Ja'far.

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Track 1_001: All right.

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That's a bit different take than I

had thought I had a bunch of different

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viewfinders, like not, I had the

one device, but I had the discs.

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I had several discs and they ranged

from the aforementioned ghostbusters,

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the animated series through all

kinds of random odds and ends.

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And so I think the one surviving microfilm

piece that makes it to this viewfinder is.

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, hand drawn, it's animated, and it is

of the first Thanksgiving, which is why

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our leader calls himself the Pilgrim.

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There wasn't a John Wayne

viewfinder, probably.

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I'm not going to Google this.

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Track 2_001: You can,

you can, , buy them now.

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They're actually newly made, 500 a piece.

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, Track 1_001: the guy on the river

sells Sonny out for possibly

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Willy, Badgie, himself, or Henry?

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He just says the one

that they're looking for?

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Yes.

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I assume it's Sonny based off the

events of the end of the episode,

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but that is not necessarily true.

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It could be they wanted to

fight Sonny to get at whoever.

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Track 2_001: Yeah.

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We know if we just take Henry Sonny's

coming for us, we might as well

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just kill him now while we're here.

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Track 1_001: Exactly.

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Or maybe they're worried about kung

fu baby, you know, whole thing.

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Track 2_001: Yeah.

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, we then see we did not

catch this character's name.

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The Pilgrim has a, I

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Track 1_001: to her, has

the elder in my notes

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Track 2_001: It is the, it seems

like the pilgrim's shaman, or,

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...

Track 1_001: yeah, I'd say she has a blood vision.

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Track 2_001: Yes.

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, lots of blood.

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Track 1_001: Lots of vision.

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Track 2_001: Yeah.

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Mostly of blood.

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, and then she tells, she

tells, , the pilgrim that

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the catalyst is coming.

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Track 1_001: Yes.

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Yeah.

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Her vision is of Sonny's back tattoo.

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Track 2_001: So, I think

we know what's going

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Track 1_001: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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, Track 2_001: and we also see that he

wants MK and Nyx, the other assassin,

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to train together to replace Caster.

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Track 1_001: He also

refers to Sonny as his kin.

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Track 2_001: Yes.

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I'm interested to see where that goes.

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He also blames,

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,

Track 1_001: the, elder.

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Track 2_001: elder.

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He also blames her for Caster's death.

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But in a way that really makes it seem

like I killed Caster, but it's your

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Track 1_001: a hundred percent.

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It

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Track 2_001: Yeah.

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So, last time on, the Pilgrim totally

killed Caster and is pretending like

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Track 1_001: he

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did it.

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Oh yeah.

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That's not even a question.

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Track 2_001: Like he's still sad about it.

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He didn't want to do it, but he totally

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Track 1_001: did

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it.

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If he is also gifted like the others,

then it could have just been a blind rage.

398

:

maybe that's the elder's

role is to calm them down

399

:

Track 2_001: maybe.

400

:

that's , so the widow is with Gaius and

removes the, , crossbow bolt from his arm.

401

:

And they present her with terms saying,

Hey, you're going to sign this ceasefire.

402

:

, we're going to send that over to, , to

Chau and this is all going to be over.

403

:

And part of this, which makes me,

, wonder about the, the map cannon

404

:

that, , you are assuming Jaffer.

405

:

They are saying that,

406

:

,

They can get this to her and

407

:

have the messenger back by tonight.

408

:

So this makes me feel like we're

not dealing with multiple states,

409

:

but like this is all happening

inside like three counties.

410

:

Track 1_001: They've got cars.

411

:

Yeah.

412

:

In the hour timeline, I do cast

some doubt right before that, we do

413

:

see Lydia getting up to some shit.

414

:

,

Track 2_001: Oh yeah, she is back to her old sneaky spying

415

:

on people from the bushes

416

:

Track 1_001: Yeah, she, , stabs a guard

who, , had made some unwelcome assault

417

:

on her, and we're happy for her for that.

418

:

And, , she gets the info she needs

before offing , we also get a moment

419

:

where Moon recruits Tilda for a reunion

tour against the Petticoat Assassins.

420

:

Track 2_001: Yes.

421

:

Come back, join us.

422

:

Stab some people with ala, you

know, your favorite thing to do.

423

:

Track 1_001: Yep.

424

:

, the Pilgrim reveals that

Caster was a dinosaur fan.

425

:

Track 2_001: Yes.

426

:

This now suddenly became, , my

son's favorite episode of the show.

427

:

He is at a dinosaur exhibit.

428

:

, it is great.

429

:

It is so cool to think about, like,

okay, if I'm a, you know, 35 year

430

:

old man, I've never been educated.

431

:

I don't know about dinosaurs.

432

:

And then I find myself in

a natural history museum?

433

:

What...

434

:

what

435

:

will that be when I just find

out DINOSAURS were a thing?

436

:

Track 1_001: Yep.

437

:

Track 2_001: The, like, just

the existential ennui that my

438

:

son feels all the time when

we have to keep reminding him.

439

:

Dinosaurs are gone, buddy.

440

:

We can't go see them.

441

:

Track 1_001: So,

442

:

Track 2_001: So he, , is telling the

other, , assassin Nyx, Hey, , I feel

443

:

bad about Caster, like we were, we were

the three best friends that anybody

444

:

could have and now one of us is gone.

445

:

And she really seems to be like,

But you kill Caster though,

446

:

Track 1_001: right?

447

:

right?

448

:

right.

449

:

Like that was you, like, you, you,

you'd tell me like, if you kill

450

:

castor, you tell me because you,

you feel like you kill castor.

451

:

I feel like you could tell me it's

a thing with the thing and you

452

:

know the thing and we do the thing.

453

:

We could talk about it.

454

:

Exactly.

455

:

You'd tell me.

456

:

Yeah.

457

:

Yeah.

458

:

You'd tell me.

459

:

So tell me.

460

:

Track 2_001: know, you gotta...

461

:

We're here, we

462

:

Track 1_001: So, so, so tell me.

463

:

I

464

:

but, but, but tell me,

465

:

Track 2_001: are we still

having this conversation?

466

:

,

Track 1_001: yeah, he says disquiet is the pestilence that

467

:

poisons the harvest of our faith.

468

:

That is some cult shit right there.

469

:

Track 2_001: Well, this

is definitely a cult.

470

:

Track 1_001: Oh yeah, but

I mean, that's like, whoa.

471

:

That's the kind of never question

me bullshit that immediately

472

:

is just like, I hear that

and I walk out of a room.

473

:

Like, there clearly will

not be a conversation.

474

:

, Track 2_001: then we cut to

Sonny walking through the woods

475

:

where he has found the captain.

476

:

And, I thought this was a little weird,

, when he's talking to the River King.

477

:

He, the River King sets up the captain.

478

:

Oh, he's gone crazy.

479

:

He's, he's, you know,

480

:

Track 1_001: he's

481

:

got an axe to the head.

482

:

Track 2_001: Yeah, this is probably

the most cogent, coherent sea

483

:

captain character I've ever seen.

484

:

Track 1_001: I love the makeup job on this

485

:

Track 2_001: Oh, it was gross.

486

:

Track 1_001: It was so good,

it was so well done, he had

487

:

clearly been brained at some

488

:

Track 2_001: Yes,

489

:

he had clearly taken an axe to

the dome and you could like...

490

:

Sea...

491

:

Track 1_001: where that ax was.

492

:

Yeah,

493

:

it was

494

:

, Track 2_001: but he says , that

some people came back, came

495

:

in with red and black armor.

496

:

Track 1_001: mm-hmm.

497

:

Track 2_001: not the red and

black armor of the Armadillo clan.

498

:

Somebody else.

499

:

Track 1_001: Yeah.

500

:

Um.

501

:

some third thing.

502

:

Good evening,

503

:

Track 2_001: And, , they

were there to get sunny.

504

:

Track 1_001: Yeah.

505

:

Track 2_001: And also, his sister

kicked a bunch of their butts.

506

:

b

507

:

I mean, it feels like

Sonny knew he had a sister.

508

:

Track 1_001: Sonny.

509

:

100% did not know he had a

510

:

sister.

511

:

No, he

512

:

Track 2_001: he talks about it.

513

:

Track 1_001: No, he's surprised.

514

:

He's like sister.

515

:

Track 2_001: No, he says, I,

I, I can't remember her face.

516

:

Yeah, but he knows he has a sister.

517

:

He just hasn't seen her since

He was a very small boy,

518

:

was the take I got from it.

519

:

Track 1_001: The take I got was,

he had no idea he had a sister.

520

:

Well, it doesn't matter.

521

:

It's not like she's gonna

show up in this show, right?

522

:

Right?

523

:

Right?

524

:

Yeah, that'd be crazy.

525

:

Why would that happen?

526

:

Track 2_001: And, , he saved

the, the axe from his head.

527

:

Which, you know what?

528

:

Somebody brains you with

an axe and you live.

529

:

100

530

:

Track 1_001: wall.

531

:

Yeah.

532

:

100%.

533

:

I

534

:

Track 2_001: don't even know if

I wiped the brains off of it.

535

:

Track 1_001: you don't need 'em

536

:

Track 2_001: There's, see that?

537

:

That's third grade.

538

:

we cut to more Lydia sneaky peepin

539

:

, I think she's got like a 90 in sneak.

540

:

Like, she's not 100 like she does

get caught, but she's pretty good.

541

:

Even though she's just like...

542

:

Next to a truck

543

:

.

Track 1_001: she gets to Ren and Arthur, and offers to deliver

544

:

the armistice to end the war.

545

:

Track 2_001: Yeah.

546

:

She immediately offers to help.

547

:

And it is at this point, like,

which side do we think she's on?

548

:

Yeah.

549

:

Because she was vehemently speaking

and like, we gotta stop the violence

550

:

Track 1_001: Yeah.

551

:

, back on Willy's boat, we learn

both that Badgie is a bad

552

:

babysitter, and that the U.

553

:

S.

554

:

never moved off Imperial, which,

honestly, that ship has sailed.

555

:

Uh, things start to get a bit

heavy between Willy and Badgie

556

:

until they get a bit steamy.

557

:

Track 2_001: they run into

the engine and fix it.

558

:

Uh,

559

:

Track 1_001: Yep, they hit a

release valve on their steam engine.

560

:

Track 2_001: What is that?

561

:

A manual kinetic adjustment?

562

:

uh, is the, , I'm writing up

how I just whacked the computer.

563

:

. .

, Track 1_001: percussive engineering.

564

:

I've heard it referred to as well.

565

:

, when the Fonzie hits the jukebox

and all of a sudden it works.

566

:

Track 2_001: Yeah.

567

:

And, , the engine being fixed

puts an end on, , smooch kisses.

568

:

Track 1_001: Yep.

569

:

, Lydia runs into Tilda and

Moon, as she expected.

570

:

And they start their plan to free Minerva.

571

:

Track 2_001: Yeah.

572

:

, so we see Lydia riding out with two guards

and we skip Over the fight scene here.

573

:

It's just stab stab dead guards.

574

:

Hey, okay We know these

guys can kill everybody

575

:

Track 1_001: Lydia kind of

pulls Moon aside for a second.

576

:

It's all like, Hey.

577

:

, but maybe the greater good, the

578

:

Track 2_001: the greater good

579

:

Track 1_001: and Moon is

like, fuck the future.

580

:

I need my honor.

581

:

I don't give a shit about

anything but my honor.

582

:

, Track 2_001: we then cut over to Nyx

and MK where they say that Caster was

583

:

poisoned, I believe quote unquote,

like mentally poisoned by the Widow.

584

:

And MK

585

:

now says he can control the gift.

586

:

Track 1_001: And

587

:

Track 2_001: And will teach Nyx.

588

:

Such a fair.

589

:

Now I have to ask you,

590

:

what happened to her?

591

:

Track 1_001: cause he

clearly has eskipped.

592

:

He has eskipped.

593

:

, , you know what he does, Ben?

594

:

He's on his way out, he gets

out of his cell, he gets out

595

:

in the compound, and he trips.

596

:

And falls into some rebar.

597

:

Track 2_001: rebar.

598

:

You gotta watch out for the

599

:

Track 1_001: You

600

:

gotta watch out for the

601

:

rebar.

602

:

It's And so this rebar

pierces him through.

603

:

And activates his gift for a moment.

604

:

Track 2_001: But he's stuck to the rebar.

605

:

Track 1_001: But he's stuck to the rebar.

606

:

And so what my theory holds is he

has not learned to control his gift.

607

:

There's just some rebar in him that he

just channels that to turn it on and off.

608

:

Track 2_001: That's my secret, , cap.

609

:

I've always got a little

chunk of rebar in me

610

:

Track 1_001: Laughter.

611

:

He does offer to teach this power to

her as well, which is, in my mind,

612

:

just stabbing her with a piece of

613

:

rebar.

614

:

Rude.

615

:

Track 2_001: We then cut over

to, , the widow trying to

616

:

help guy us with the bleeding.

617

:

, Gaius is pretty sure that Lydia has

betrayed them, but, , as, , Lydia

618

:

was leaving, , the widow said,

Oh hey, if you want to avoid

619

:

the snipers, take the high road.

620

:

And everybody's like, Man,

there ain't no high road.

621

:

I don't know what you're talking about.

622

:

so earlier in the Tet a Tet, A

Tet, cause there's three of them.

623

:

The

624

:

Track 1_001: The Tet a Tet a Tet.

625

:

Track 2_001: Yeah, Tilda's like,

No, that's the secret way we snuck

626

:

out to like, Go drink in town.

627

:

Track 1_001: And it's like,

628

:

Track 2_001: And it's like,

629

:

Oh hey, she, she told us

the way to sneak back in.

630

:

She thinks we're still on her side.

631

:

so the widow's like,

Nah, she's coming back.

632

:

,

Track 1_001: Arthur comes to gloat about some executions.

633

:

Gets got.

634

:

Track 2_001: makes the same

dumbass mistake he made, , earlier.

635

:

And , the widow grabs him and

stabs him through the back of

636

:

the head with the crossbo bolt.

637

:

It's rugged.

638

:

Track 1_001: and we finally

get some kung fu fighting.

639

:

It had been an episode, it had

been a drought of kung fu fighting.

640

:

Track 2_001: No, there was a

kung fu fight at the beginning.

641

:

When they captured, , the widow.

642

:

They, they have

643

:

the,

644

:

Track 1_001: Oh yeah.

645

:

There's, this is a little tiny kung fu

646

:

fight

647

:

then.

648

:

Track 2_001: mean,

649

:

it was three minutes of kung fu

650

:

Track 1_001: fighting.

651

:

It

652

:

was not an episode set piece of kung

653

:

Track 2_001: kung fu.

654

:

No, but we're about to have a

glut of kung fu fight, uh, here

655

:

in the last ten minutes of this

656

:

Track 1_001: The last ten minutes of this

episode is just pure Kung Fu fighting.

657

:

Track 2_001: Yeah, we, ... We end

back in the, , the plotting , parlor,

658

:

Track 1_001: Yeah, they make it a whole

two rooms before being surrounded by

659

:

archers.

660

:

Track 2_001: But they kill, like, a bunch

of guys and then are surrounded by...

661

:

And it was nice to see actual bows

and arrows, not just crossbows.

662

:

And then, , just as all things seem lost,

Tilda arrives with, , Silver Moon and

663

:

their guys and she quickly, , glaives,

664

:

, the bad guys and...

665

:

Then, it ends on a little downer note,

where everybody is dead but Wren.

666

:

Wren, who has a wooden leg, and then the

widow trips her by kicking her wooden leg,

667

:

and then like, holding her with, at knife

point, and it's just like, Ooh, we ended

668

:

this by beating up the cripple chick?

669

:

Uh, heh heh, like,

670

:

Track 1_001: she has some kung fu moves.

671

:

She was doing

672

:

stuff,

673

:

Track 2_001: She was it was it was just

like, Ooh, now we're really punching down.

674

:

,

Track 1_001: Did you notice that moon got his sword back?

675

:

Track 2_001: that Moon has his sword back,

676

:

Track 1_001: very Ooh.

677

:

I wonder what happened there.

678

:

Track 2_001: Well, Sunny

hasn't had it since,

679

:

Track 1_001: I wasn't, I

wasn't, that wasn't a prompt,

680

:

Ben.

681

:

Track 2_001: okay, I'm

sorry, well I just Sunny

682

:

Track 1_001: hasn't had it

683

:

since Yeah.

684

:

Sunny gets back up to the River

King's carefully worded commitment.

685

:

Some gin bullshit.

686

:

Some yeah.

687

:

Track 2_001: Oh yeah, , and

688

:

Sunny

689

:

almost makes a face at this And I'm

just like, Sunny, you're smart enough

690

:

You noticed this turn of phrase

Sunny did not notice this turn of

691

:

phrase , Ja'far, we now get Sunny

being attacked by Three, Three guys in

692

:

black and leather, black and red armor.

693

:

Track 1_001: Uh,

694

:

Track 2_001: I'm that they

would've fit right in.

695

:

Yeah, they also have, , retr

Maces, which was very

696

:

Track 1_001: But, uh,

697

:

Track 2_001: Yeah.

698

:

But, I also definitely took notice

as this fight was happening of.

699

:

Chekhov's narwhal.

700

:

Did you notice it before it

became pertinent to the scene?

701

:

Track 1_001: No.

702

:

Track 2_001: Oh, I totally did, I

was like, Oh hey, there's a narwhal!

703

:

Somebody's totally getting

stabbed on that narwhal!

704

:

so, Sunny fights off these three very,

very well, you know, skilled assassins

705

:

who are spinning their retracto maces.

706

:

There are lots of flippy kicks and,

, enough ladders to have made this an

707

:

unofficial intercontinental title match.

708

:

Uh,

709

:

Track 1_001: Yeah.

710

:

Uh, all Sonny needs is a ladder.

711

:

.

Track 2_001: This fight rips.

712

:

This is a great fight.

713

:

Track 1_001: It was a sweet fight.

714

:

, did you assume these dudes are from Ara?

715

:

Track 2_001: I do believe

they are from Azra.

716

:

It is the same,

717

:

they

718

:

have the, the symbol,

719

:

on their chest, the symbol that,

, Sunny carved into the boat, as we

720

:

saw that helped him identify it.

721

:

And it was the same symbol from

MK's necklace and the compass.

722

:

So I believe, I believe this

is, these guys are from Azra.

723

:

Track 1_001: So knowing this, knowing that

they wanted Sonny, Presumably because he

724

:

was capable of having gifted children,

since we know he has a gifted child.

725

:

Knowing that, , MK had the pendant, right?

726

:

Azra is clearly linked to these gifted

people, and Pilgrim has a cohort of gifted

727

:

people with him that he is taking to Azra.

728

:

Track 2_001: Yep.

729

:

, Track 1_001: so, I think...

730

:

Well, we'll get to it in predictions, but

all this lines up a little conveniently.

731

:

Track 2_001: I mean, it does, it does make

it feel like this is going a direction.

732

:

Yeah.

733

:

, but what I did like here,

734

:

,

Sonny has the last living, , assassin.

735

:

And is trying to question him

when he stabs himself on a pin,

736

:

which suddenly cyanides him.

737

:

, and he bleeds to death quite, er, he foams

at the mouth and dies quite violently.

738

:

And as this is happening, the River King

is just like, noping out of the room.

739

:

Until Badgey's just like, Ha ha, I

was behind the door the whole time!

740

:

You know I'm not fighting the

assassins, but I'll stop you!

741

:

, and takes him back in, and very similarly

to my favorite moment at the end of

742

:

Breaking Bad, , The River King starts,

like, trying to bargain for, I have

743

:

all this information you want, and I

know these things, and those things.

744

:

, just like the, , the Nazi guy tried to

do there about, You'll never find your

745

:

buried money if you don't let me live.

746

:

, and Sunny just impales

this guy on the narwhal.

747

:

Track 1_001: Mm hmm.

748

:

Track 2_001: And Badgie then

responds, Fucking narwhals.

749

:

And I'm just like, oh, did Badgie have

a narwhal experience that didn't go

750

:

Track 1_001: well?

751

:

I think Narwals were one of the kingdoms.

752

:

They were one of the Barneys.

753

:

Oh, because remember there was the

double horned thing that I was like

754

:

some kind of double horned fish.

755

:

I assume it's a narwhal.

756

:

Track 2_001: narwhal.

757

:

Track 1_001: So I think there

might be some more going on there.

758

:

In fact, maybe the River King was

a regent to the Narwhal Baron.

759

:

, we see, , Lily's gonna

take over as River Queen.

760

:

Yes.

761

:

, Sunny and Badgie are on their

way to find the Pilgrim, and

762

:

the Mutineers are executed.

763

:

Track 2_001: Yes, they are all shot.

764

:

Okay, so we are set up for adventure.

765

:

We know all of our people are going

to start meeting in the same place.

766

:

Track 1_001: Yep.

767

:

And with that, it's time to roll

some dice and make some predictions.

768

:

Alright.

769

:

I'm rolling 2d4.

770

:

If I roll 8 here, we're at the finale.

771

:

Track 2_001: Roll low.

772

:

Track 1_001: Six.

773

:

So, we will be watching two

episodes from the finale.

774

:

, so episode fourteen.

775

:

Track 2_001: Yep.

776

:

And then we'll watch 16.

777

:

Yep.

778

:

Track 1_001: And I will look up

episode fourteen in a minute.

779

:

But before we get to that,

let's make some predictions.

780

:

Track 2_001: All right.

781

:

, Track 1_001: my daytime

prediction, I feel like this is

782

:

obvious, Sunny Sister shows up.

783

:

Track 2_001: Oh, yeah.

784

:

Track 1_001: Is that also

your daytime prediction?

785

:

Track 2_001: No.

786

:

Alright.

787

:

Uh, my daytime prediction that boat sinks.

788

:

Track 1_001: Yeah.

789

:

Fair enough.

790

:

Track 2_001: Lily is gonna be pissed

and it's probably bad's fault.

791

:

, Track 1_001: my evening prediction?

792

:

The pilgrim is not looking

to a way to reach Asra.

793

:

He is looking for a way to return to Asra.

794

:

Track 2_001: Hmm.

795

:

Track 1_001: He has been there previously.

796

:

Possibly exiled.

797

:

Possibly, , was there as a child and his

parents left and were exiled or something.

798

:

Like, he has been there, though.

799

:

There's a reason he's collecting

these people of interest to Azra.

800

:

The MKs, the casters, the nixes.

801

:

I think he gets there

and they are an offering.

802

:

Track 2_001: Okay.

803

:

, my evening prediction, Sunny's

sister becomes queen of Azra.

804

:

Track 1_001: Ooh.

805

:

Maybe already is.

806

:

Track 2_001: I'd allow some leeway on the

807

:

Track 1_001: I'd allow some

leeway on the becoming.

808

:

Track 2_001: Whatcha

809

:

Track 1_001: What you got?

810

:

Track 2_001: Okay, I also have a finale

811

:

Track 1_001: Okay.

812

:

I also have a finale prediction

of , , nearly the same sentence.

813

:

But I have a different character.

814

:

Tilda sacrifices herself in the finale.

815

:

Okay.

816

:

Well, with that, we will be back next

week with season three, episode 14,

817

:

Netflix is taking a minute to load.

818

:

Track 2_001: That's a

819

:

weird name for an episode.

820

:

Track 1_001: Uh, we still got

821

:

Track 2_001: Sometimes

it's nice being simpatico.

822

:

Track 1_001: Season

three, episode 17, Curse.

823

:

Wait, 17?

824

:

Track 2_001: Wait, 17.

825

:

I thought.

826

:

14.

827

:

Track 1_001: 14, sorry.

828

:

Episode 17 doesn't exist.

829

:

It's only got 60 episodes.

830

:

Season 3, episode 14.

831

:

Curse of the Red Rain.

832

:

Sunny, Badgie, and Kanan Do we know Kanan?

833

:

Track 2_001: I don't know.

834

:

Track 1_001: Journey

back into the Badlands.

835

:

The Widow Pilgrim, bringing Cressida

and Lydia into the crossfire.

836

:

Track 2_001: Cressida?

837

:

Track 1_001: Cressida.

838

:

Yes, Cressida.

839

:

Who's Cressida?

840

:

Track 2_001: It is a, , believe

a character from Greek mythology.

841

:

Track 1_001: Oh, okay.

842

:

.

Well, that's where we'll be next week.

843

:

But until then, we do have

to say some thank yous.

844

:

Track 2_001: Thank you,

845

:

Track 1_001: Thank you

ripe for your fucking.

846

:

Banger of a song, goon Squad.

847

:

Just thank you for that song, let

alone letting us use it as our

848

:

credits, music and theme song.

849

:

We appreciate the hell out of you.

850

:

Go listen to Ripe Their

last album's a fucking Fire.

851

:

It's so good.

852

:

, go listen to their music.

853

:

It's all excellent.

854

:

I haven't heard a song

from them, I haven't liked.

855

:

, Track 2_001: it was very funny, I

was listening to their last episode,

856

:

and I texted my wife, and I was just,

I just said, Listen to the new R.

857

:

I.

858

:

P.

859

:

E.

860

:

album, and tell me which song

you think is my favorite.

861

:

And she's listening to it, and I'm

like, Okay, this song's really good,

862

:

this song's really good, And, friends,

I will tell you, I have a type.

863

:

Like, I listen to a lot of folk music.

864

:

30 percent of folk songs are about meeting

death, or death being like, a person.

865

:

Ripe has a song about death

being like, an overworked guy.

866

:

... in their latest album.

867

:

It's awesome.

868

:

It's called Brendan.

869

:

, and she's like, I don't know.

870

:

I think it's maybe the first

song, maybe the third song.

871

:

Then I'm out on my walk

and she just calls me.

872

:

It's Brendan.

873

:

And I'm like, you know me.

874

:

Track 1_001: you got it nailed it.

875

:

, also thank you Annette Lucena for

licensing your photography under creative

876

:

commons so that artists like us can

use it for ourselves in this case.

877

:

In the, , images for the

podcast, the promotional work.

878

:

Thank you so much.

879

:

Appreciate you.

880

:

Track 2_001: much.

881

:

Appreciate you.

882

:

And thank you for listening.

883

:

Track 1_001: Appreciate you listener.

884

:

We'll see you next week.

885

:

Track 2_001: And we'll see

you next time on Last Time On.

886

:

Track 1_001: Hello and

welcome to Who Are You?

887

:

This is the Babylon Fi

888

:

Track 2_001: That ain't it.

889

:

Track 1_001: I know.

890

:

Hello and welcome to Last Time On.

891

:

This is the podcast for people who...

892

:

Oh, let me get a clean take of that.

893

:

people, people.

894

:

People.

895

:

People.

896

:

The podcast is

897

:

Track 2_001: peeple,

peeople The podcast is for

898

:

Track 1_001: Green is made of podcast.

899

:

Track 2_001: out

900

:

Track 1_001: Probably.

901

:

Renewable resource.

902

:

Track 2_001: Yeah

903

:

Track 1_001: As long as

there are 30 something white

904

:

guys, there will be podcasts.

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About the Podcast

Last Time On
Who's Got Time For All This Prestige TV?
Who has time for all this prestige television these days? Not us! That's why Ben and Xhafer are going through "must watch" TV by skipping a random number of episodes in-between each viewing and connecting the dots on what happened. What happened Last Time On? What happen hurr?

Shout out to Ripe for our theme music, Goon Squad. Find them wherever you listen to music.

About your hosts

Benjamin Curley

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Xhafer Husen

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